The Fast and the Fedoras (A blog of lame gags)

A Means to An End + More, parts 1-4/5

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 23:11:53 -0400

my bard/sebastian fic and it’s almost completed sequel. enjoy, if you will!

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A Means to an End

Sebastian sighed as he put the finishing touches on dessert. He had made a Portsmouth Cake, and was finishing spreading the butter cream over the top and sides. There had been something bothering him as of late; while he had no great want of anything, he felt he was lacking… something. Ever since the battle with that insufferable Grell Sut-

Sebastian paused, realization hitting him. All Grell’s lewd suggestions, well, more than suggestions, really, seemed to have had an effect on him. He was now beginning to realize how truly long it had been since he’d laid with anyone and, while he had shared no affection for his partners, even he had needs. As repulsive as he found Grell, now that he was aware of his ailment, Sebastian felt more keenly a need for release.

The tension, however, was bearable, and the butler easily carried a slice of the orange cake up to his young master. His master was slightly irritable, as usual, and made no comment as Sebastian laid the cake on the corner of his desk and, after a brief explanation, took his leave. But he was still afflicted with a slight tension, and, aware that simply ignoring the feeling would lead nowhere, he began reviewing his options.

Mayren was definitely out of the question; firstly, the girl had a terribly obvious affection for him, and Sebastian did not wish to be burdened with her romantic notions. Also, it would be a rather disastrous event if she would happen to become pregnant. No, women were definitely off the list. Sebastian’s next thought was perhaps Finnian, but this was also disregarded. The boy was attractive, as well as effeminate, but he was far too naïve. Sebastian would not want word of his doings spreading, and Finnian would not be able to help himself but tell someone. Then there was the young master…

Sebastian smiled as he walked down the hall. Though not naïve, Ciel was young, not that age mattered much to a demon. However, he did not feel as if the young master would appreciate the attentions of his butler; no, certainly not. Despite this, he could not help but imagine the moon pale skin shining with sweat, that stubborn mouth hanging open and panting, those dark eyes burning in-

Sebastian’s revere was broken by the sound of an explosion. Rushing to the kitchen before thinking, he found himself stopped in the hallway as Bard stumbled out of a cloud of smoke, waving one hand to clear the air in front of him and coughing into the other.

“What happened?” Sebastian asked, irritation already entering his flawless features. He had been having such wondrous thoughts, and then Bard had to go and… Sebastian’s thoughts paused.

“Well, I was making the beef for dinner, and I thought that maybe using a bit of dynamite could, ya know, speed it up a bit,” Bard said. The “cook” was looking in the kitchen, examining the damage he’d done. He knew he was in for it; this was the fifth time today he’d blown up the kitchen, and Sebastian had already been in a bad mood lately-

“Pay it no mind; I’ll handle everything,” Sebastian said, smiling. Bard froze; he had been certain he was in for a lecture at the least… what was that?

“But, uh… okay,” Bard said tentatively. “I’m sorry I blew up the kitchen… again.”

“I already said, pay it no mind,” Sebastian said, guiding Bard into the hallway with a hand on his shoulder. He was still smiling, and Bard was starting to feel as if there was something more behind the look. But he shook the thought from his head as Sebastian returned to the kitchen. There was no way Sebastian meant anything by that, it was just in his head. He’d probably just figured out how to fix what had been bothering him lately, that was all.

As Sebastian began cleaning the kitchen, he began humming to himself. He had indeed found the solution to his problem; and he even knew how to have a little fun along the way.

The next morning, Bard rose early to attempt to make breakfast as usual. Not that he always failed; he was much better than when he had first begun. It was just slow going.

As Bard began dicing meat for breakfast, Sebastian stood next to the doorway. He smiled, considering his first move carefully, as well as happily anticipating his little game. When Bard moved to making batter, Sebastian saw his chance.

Bard held an egg and went to break it open by tossing it in the bowl, when an elegant gloved hand caught his calloused one, and Bard felt heat against his back as Sebastian stood close behind him.

“You need to break the egg outside the bowl first,” Sebastian’s velvet voice sounded near Bard’s ear, close enough that he could feel the butler’s breath.

Bard jumped across the room, nearly hitting the wall in his haste. He stared at Sebastian at shock, not sure what the hell had just happened.

Sebastian, a cool expression gracing his features, broke the egg on the side of the bowl an poured the inside in the mixture. He repeated this with the other two eggs, then proceeded to make breakfast as Bard kept his post near the wall. Bard stared at nothing, his mind a blank. When Sebastian swept past him, breakfast one and tea on a tray for the young master, Bard skittered out of the way. Sebastian paused a moment to look at the cook diffidently, then smiled coolly and continued on his way to the hall and then the young master’s room.

Neither said a word to each other the rest of the day, and slowly Bard managed to convince himself it had all been in his head, and hadn’t really happened. Sebastian didn’t act different the rest of the day, reinforcing this thought.

But, as he lay down to go to bed, the quiet of the night caused his thoughts to return to that morning. He still hadn’t a clue what had happened. Why the hell would Sebastian, of all people, get that close to him? He wouldn’t have minded if it had been Mayren or Finny; Mayren for obvious chest-er, reasons, and Finny was just like a little kid. But Sebastian? Bard sighed, shutting his eyes tightly. He was probably thinking too much; if he waited long enough, he’d just forget about it and things would go back to normal.

The next morning started off as usual; Bard began breakfast by himself and Sebastian came in to prepare the young master’s morning tea service a bit later. Although he’d decided to put yesterday behind him, Bard couldn’t help but shy away from Sebastian when he got a little too close, or flinch slightly when the butler would say something.

Telling himself he was just acting silly, Bard turned purposefully to walk to the other side of the kitchen, but his foot hit something as he turned, and he ended up falling. Before he hit the ground, Bard found himself hoisted up by surprisingly strong slender arms. The cook looked up out of reflex and found himself looking straight at Sebastian, inches from the butler’s face.

“You should be more careful, Bard,” Sebastian said, smiling brightly. Bard was paralyzed a moment, and Sebastian’s eyes half opened in that time.

Sebastian was truly enjoying his game, and catching the cook off guard again was highly amusing. And Bard was playing his part perfectly as he roughly pushed away from the butler with a muttered half thanks and poorly hidden panic. Sebastian cupped his chin as he watched Bard leave the room a bit aimlessly, wondering what his next move should be against the cook.

Still racking his brain for some kind of sense of the last couple minutes, Bard didn’t notice Mayren until he nearly bumped into her, causing her to shout and drop an armload of plates. The plates shattered on the floor as Bard came to his senses and Mayren covered her mouth with both hands.

“Oh, no, not again!” Mayren cried in despair, tears in her eyes. “I told Sebastian I wouldn’t break another plate, yes I did, and here I’ve dropped the whole set!”

“Sorry, Mayren; I didn’t see you,” Bard said. “Let me help you clean this up.”

“Oh, thank you, Bard! But are you okay? You’ve never run into me before,” Mayren said as they both kneeled to carefully pick up the larger plate shards.

“I was… eh…” Bard wasn’t sure what to say. “Mayren, has Sebastian been acting weird to you lately?”

Mayren paused, looking up in thought, a large shard in one hand as she put a finger to her chin.

“No, I can’t say he has; but he was before, yes he was!” Mayren said, continuing to pick up plate pieces. “Why? Has he been acting strange to you?”

“N-no! I was just, uh, wondering,” Bard said. He coughed a bit, still wondering what the hell was going on, but pushing it to the back of his mind. It was all in his head; besides, Sebastian had probably caught him out of reflex anyway…

After a day of avoiding Sebastian with more vigor than the day previous, Bard was exhausted. He sunk into his bed, shutting his eyes tightly against his mind’s wandering questions. And, after some restless tossing and turning, he managed to fall into a black sleep.

The three men were fast asleep when Sebastian slid open the door. It was the dead of night. The butler walked over, stopping at the foot of Bard’s bed. He smiled, walking to the side of the bed and sitting down. Bard slept on, oblivious as Sebastian leaned over him, one hand pressing lightly on Bard’s chest as the butler placed his mouth next to Bard’s ear.

“Good evening, Bard,” he said lowly. “You seem tense lately… allow me to offer you my services.”

Sebastian let his hand glide softly down Bard’s chest, snaking under the blanket and beneath the fabric of Bard’s sleepwear. He let his thumb travel down Bard’s soft member, feeling down his length to the head. He began teasing the head, watching Bard’s face as he did. Bard let out a small groan as he began growing hard under Sebastian’s ministrations, eyebrows knitting as tension started building. Sebastian continued smiling as he ran his fingers lightly down Bard’s swollen member, then took hold and pumped him. He put a hand over Bard’s mouth to keep his moans from being heard, and Bard arched into his hand.

Sebastian stopped just as Bard was about to reach completion. Pulling his hand back, he uncovered Bard’s mouth. The cook was panting, and Sebastian lightly brushed the side of his face.

“If you want more, I’m afraid you’ll have to ask,” he said, then slid to standing, quickly quitting the room with a smile.

Bard woke up feeling like crap. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt raw and it was slightly uncomfortable to walk. And he hadn’t slept well. He’d woken in the middle of the might with a… problem, which had kept him up longer, because he seemed to be missing something he needed to fix it. And, in addition to that, Sebastian’s voice was drifting around his head for some unknown reason.

And that was why he decided to stay completely clear of the butler that day.

However, it was a lot more difficult than he’d though it would be. It seemed like no matter where he went, Sebastian was there. He hadn’t realized how often he saw the butler in one day, but he could have sworn it wasn’t this much. He was also pretty sure he’d never seen Sebastian smiling so much, either. It was kind of creeping him out.

When he ran into Sebastian (again), he decided to try his luck going outside. Of course, he ran into Finnian outside. Watching the young blonde clip hedges for a few moments, he decided to try talking to him about recent… events.

“Hey, Finny, can I talk to you?” Bard called, walking up. Finnian turned and smiled.

“Sure Bard, what is it?” he asked, big blue eyes curious. Bard scratched the back of his head, not sure how to start.

“Well, ya see… I have this problem,” he said, trying to be discreet. “Well, it’s not my problem, but my… friend’s problem.”

“Oh, is everything alright?’ Finnian said, all worry and sympathy. Bard held up a hand.

“Yeah, yeah, everything’s great, it’s just… well, my friend, she thinks this guy might like her, but she doesn’t know whether or not it’s all in her head or not,” Bard said. He figured he might as well leave Sebastian as a guy in this story; then Finnian wouldn’t connect it to him at all.

“Well, does she like him?” Finnian asked.

“No,” Bard said firmly. Thinking of last night’s problem, however, made him doubt, just a little, the truth of that statement…

“Then there’s nothing to worry about!” Finnian said brightly. Bard sighed, but he probably should have expected as much.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” he said, patting Finnian’s shoulder and walking away. He didn’t believe Sebastian actually liked him, he just hadn’t had a better way to put the situation. If there even was a situation. Which there couldn’t be. Because, really, how could there be a situation?

By the time night fell, Bard still had no answers. His kept rolling over everything that had happened recently, trying to form some kind of coherent conclusion. But, no matter how he tossed and turned and stared at blank space, he couldn’t come up with one. With his mind racing, he also couldn’t fall asleep, and was still awake by the time he needed to get up to make breakfast.

The morning passed quietly. Bard even made sure to take extra time making breakfast, without using any explosives, to make sure there was no reason for Sebastian to appear. And, when Sebastian did appear, it was at the time he usually did to make master Ciel’s morning tea. The butler didn’t give Bard so much as a second glance as he left the room, and Bard sighed. It had to be all in his head; it had to be.

And the rest of the day continued much the same; Sebastian seemed to pay Bard no more attention than was necessary, and the cook slowly berated himself for ever believing there was something going on at all. Really, it was like the way Mayren would fantasize about Sebastian.

Not that he fantasized about Sebastian! Bard shook his head, trying to get rid of the thought. He had just been making a comparison; he didn’t feel anything about the butler. Well, not that he didn’t feel anything, he just didn’t feel that way about him… not they he was particularly bothered by people who felt that way, he just…

Bard sighed and focused on the task at hand, unaware that Sebastian leaned against the doorway to the kitchen, smiling in an amused fashion as if he knew exactly what the cook was thinking. And, although he knew not precisely what the cook was thinking, he did have a rather accurate idea. Especially since it was all according to plan.

By the time night fell, Bard had managed to calm down and, while he still had some worries, he fell asleep almost instantly.

Near the middle of the night, as soon as Tanaka and Finnian were in as dead a sleep as Bard, Sebastian silently entered the room. He glided over to Bard’s bed, sitting as he had before. He smiled as he let his hand ghost down Bard’s chest, torso… then continuing beneath the cook’s clothing. He leaned by Bard’s ear again.

“Were my services not to your satisfaction, Bardroy?” he whispered, voice like velvet. “Please allow me to remedy the situation.”

Even unconscious, Bard seemed to shiver as Sebastian spoke, beginning his ministrations as he had before. Almost imperceivably, Bard reacted to Sebastian’s touch and voice more readily than before, and with more fervor. Sebastian smiled darkly, well aware of the change thanks to his heightened senses. Just as before, however, he stopped just as Bard was about to reach release; he left a chaste kiss on Bardroy’s lips, then took his leave.

The butler continued in this fashion over the next several days; each progressive night visit causing Bardroy to react more quickly to Sebastian’s voice and hand. During the day, of course, the butler still continued his game, though less energetically.

Bard, unaware of the butler’s intentions, was in tumult. Sebastian showed no outward change, but Bard felt as if he saw the man in a new light. He did his best, however, to tame his reactions to the butler; ignoring the way his skin lit up wherever the butler happened to accidently brush against him, the way he started to get lost in Sebastian’s silky voice, the way he could almost imagine Sebastian’s hand trailing down his-

Bard stopped that train of thought (again) and accidentally managed to blow up dinner. He blinked and coughed as the smoke cleared, wondering what the hell was wrong with him and why the hell he was thinking this crap now. Thinking of which, since he just blew up the kitchen (again), wouldn’t that mean-

“What happened now?” Sebastian asked, frowning slightly as he walked in the room.

“Eh? Well, I just… uh… I stopped paying attention for a minute, and bam!” Bard said. He actually wasn’t quite sure himself how he had managed to blow up the kitchen this time; it kind of just happened. Sebastian sighed, eyes closing momentarily. Then he opened them again and walked forward.

“Well, there’s still an hour until dinner; I should be able to put this to rights,” Sebastian said, taking stock of the damage.

“Ah well, sorry about that,” Bard said, scratching the back of his neck. He was looking away, trying not to let himself focus on Sebastian; in fact, using all his will power to focus on a particular bit of ash as it floated in the air. So focused he didn’t noticed he took a step or two towards it, or that Sebastian turned at near the same moment and-

Bard and Sebastian ran into each other, coming very close, faces inches from each other. The entire fronts of their bodies came into full contact, and Bard’s skin burned as he felt all of where he and Sebastian came into contact; chest, torso, even-

It lasted only a second before Bardroy hurriedly backed away, feeling his face flush as he started getting a hard on. He turned away, hiding his reaction from Sebastian, who stood looking shocked.

“Sorry, I, uh…” Bard tried to cover his tracks, then simply walked out of the kitchen, intending to find somewhere to take care of his problem away from the source.

In his wake, Sebastian slowly began to smile. He began cleaning the kitchen, deciding it was time for the next part of his little game to begin…

That night Sebastian paid the cook no visits.

The next night Bard tossed and turned in his sleep. His dreams were troubled; dark and tense, with his emotions ever seeking, seeking, seeking… looking for something missed, something visceral and powerful… glowing red eyes peered from shadows, a silken laugh echoed faintly, and the essence of Bard shuddered, surrounded but alone…

Bardroy shot up in a cold sweat, panting. After a few moments, he sighed and covered his eyes with his hand. Then he slid out of bed, figuring he would get a glass of warm milk to try and calm his nerves. His eyes were a bit bloodshot from what rough sleep he’d gotten, and he shuffled down the halls still groggy.

When he walked into the kitchen and found Sebastian there, he nearly walked out again.

“Oh, good evening, Bardroy. Is something wrong?” Sebastian asked. He was just finishing some cleaning, and was actually slightly surprised to find Bardroy entering. Bardroy debated leaving a moments, then yawned and scratched the back of his neck.

“Naw, just having a hard time sleeping,” he said, walking to the icebox to retrieve some milk. Pulling out a pot, he poured the milk in and heated up the stove.

“Bad dreams?” Sebastian asked. Bard flinched, and behind him Sebastian smiled. Bard grabbed a wooden spoon and stirred the heating milk a little too quickly.

“Something like that, yeah,” he said. Sebastian felt a bit like laughing, but refrained. Instead he lightly crept beside Bard, placing one gloved hand over the cook’s to make him pause.

“If you stir it that quickly, you’ll surely make it spill,” Sebastian smiled at Bard. The cook was shocked a moment, then hastily pulled his hand out from beneath Sebastian’s and practically jumped away. Acting almost as if nothing had happened, Sebastian took over stirring for Bard, more slowly.

“Uh… thanks…” Bard said, calming down. He covered the hand Sebastian had touched with his own, trying to erase the feeling it left behind. Sebastian smiled brightly.

“I’m happy to extend my services to you, Bardroy,” he said, making Bard frown. He knew that sounded off; besides, Sebastian had never said anything like that before… but, as Sebastian opened his eyes a bit, and they seemed to pulse with slight energy, Bard jumped and pointed accusingly.

“You’re doing this on purpose!” he said. Sebastian continued smiling a moment, then made of face of amused concern.

“I’m afraid I haven’t the slightest idea what you are referring to,” the butler said. “You will have to be more clear.”

“I… you… and… “ Bard sputtered, face turning crimson as he tried to form a coherent argument that didn’t make him sound half mad. Sebastian smiled.

“You and I… what, Bardroy?” Sebastian asked, tilting his head just so, his eyes falling into the shadow of his brows. Bard shivered; Sebastian’s eyes were glowing slightly, and it set Bard’s insides roiling and his skin begin to heat up. He turned away, unable to master his passions as he stared at Sebastian.

“Nothing… just… nothing. Good night,” Bard said, then walked out of the kitchen, leaving the butler to himself. Sebastian frowned slightly. He had been near certain that Bardroy would play right into his hands then; but then he smiled. One small concession certainly did not mean he had lost his game entirely. Although…

He was rather upset that he would now have to pitch a perfectly good pot of warm milk.

Bardroy’s sleeping habits did not improve as the week wore on. In fact, he was sleeping less and tossing and turning most the nights; his dreams even became more vivid. In the latest, he was looking out a window, and the moon shone down on a pale figure. Glossy black hair shown, and a bare, slender body stood. Bard’s eyes worshiped the man’s body with an intensity he hadn’t had for even the most beautiful women of his past; eyes trailing up over the form; from the feet, to the legs, the waist, the torso, the chest, the neck, the mouth, the nose, the eyes… the glowing, mesmerizing red eyes…

Sebastian strode toward him. The butler smiled darkly, cupping the side of Bard’s face with one hand. He leaned in and kissed the cook, and Bard returned it as Sebastian’s other hand slid down his bare chest and torso…

Bard woke suddenly, eyes flying open. The cook lay motionless, letting time tick away as his breath came in short gasps and his heart raced. The dream had been the most intense by far, and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take. He groaned into the dark, then half fell out of bed. He picked himself up and gulped, stealing himself for what he was about to do.

He stood before Sebastian’s door, but made no move to knock. He simply stood; and had for the past twenty minutes or so. While Bard hadn’t been able to stop himself from going to the butler’s door, he also couldn’t bring himself to take the final step and rouse the man and confess his desires. He stared at the floor, caught in a crossroads.

Bard flinched as the door opened. Sebastian stood, fully dressed sans tailcoat. His face was blank a moment, then he smiled.

“Is there something I can help you with, Bardroy?” he asked. Bard stared at the floor a moment longer, then looked right in Sebastian’s eyes.

“You win,” he said.

“Pardon?” Sebastian asked, looking confused.

“I don’t know what the hell game this is, but you win,” Bard said, looking determined. He clenched his fist to try and hide that his hands were shaking. Sebastian looked confused a moment longer, then smiled darkly, eyes glowing.

In a moment too fast for Bard to remember, Sebastian had pulled him inside and shut the door, the slammed Bard up against it. Sebastian’s face was only inches from Bard’s as he paused, and took a shakey breath; anxious and yet excited, the mix rolling sickeningly in his stomach.

Sebastian leaned forward and placed his lips against Bardroy’s; Bard closed his eyes, feeling the cool, smooth texture of Sebastian’s mouth and inhaling the scent that was uniquely him. Sebastian kept his eyes cracked open as he added pressure to the kiss, and Bard yielded to him wonderfully. Sebastian knew he had full command of the situation; it enticed him.

The butler pressed his tongue against Bardroy’s lips, and the cook gave him immediate access; Sebastian finally closed his eyes as he explored Bard’s warm mouth, pressing their bodies closer at the same. Sebastian let his hands run down Bardroy’s sides, making the cook shiver as he subconsciously gripped the butler’s shoulders. Sebastian let his hands rest on Bardroy’s hips, then gently rocked his own hips forward so that they rubbed against each other.

Bard let out a gasping groan through his kiss with Sebastian as the butler made friction between them. Bard’s face flushed as he began to grow hot. Their tongues twined as Bard wrapped his arms around Sebastian’s neck and the butler ground against him with more force, making them both give out groans and moans, breath growing heavy.

Sebastian pulled away, and Bard blinked, breathless. Sebastian smiled at his confused expression, then took of his gloves. Bard watched as the tie was removed next, then the vest unbuttoned. The cook was mesmerized, watching Sebastian’s pale skin reveal itself as the butler unbuttoned each button. Sebastian slid the shirt, vest and tie off his shoulders, and Bard watched as the garments slowly slid down to the floor with a slight swishing noise, hitting the wooden boards with a whisper of a thump.

Bard took a step forward, fascinated by Sebastian’s figure. It was just as pale and perfect as it had been in his mind’s eye, and his amazement made him only half aware of what he was doing. His rough hands reached out; one resting on the hallow between neck and shoulder and the other on one slim waist. Bard let out a breath at the velvet, cool feel of Sebastian’s skin. His hand trailed down whilst he kissed the hallow between neck and shoulder on the other side. Sebastian tasted of salt, and slightly metallic, like blood, but there was a sweet, subtle flavor laced through, and it made Bard feel heady as he lightly began lightly sucking on the skin and let his hands worship Sebastian’s body.

Sebastian began humming lightly, smiling at Bard’s activities. His slender fingers worked around Bard’s arms to unbutton the cook’s night shirt. By the time this was done, Bard was intermingling sucks and kisses on Sebastian’s neck and pressing against him, eager for more. Sebastian chuckled, forcing Bard back a bit to push the shirt off the cook’s shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Sebastian looked in Bard’s eyes; the blue orbs were in tumult, lust mingled with remorse, pleasure with guilt, pride with yearning. Sebastian paused a moment, he wasn’t sure why, then pulled Bard forward by his waist and kissed him deeply. Bard melded to him, wrapping his arms around Sebastian’s shoulders. The butler easily lifted him from the ground to move to the bed, laying Bard down without breaking the kiss.

They were both hard, their enclosed erections grinding together through the rough fabric of their clothes. Sebastian swallowed Bard’s moans, forcing the cook’s hands off of him. He pulled back slightly, and Bard kept his eyes closed, panting. Sebastian kissed a line down the side of bard’s neck, stopping to suck at the hallow of his neck. Bard groaned softly, one hand cupping the back of Sebastian’s head and the other burying itself in the bed sheets. Sebastian separated their waist, using both hands to rid first himself, then Bardroy of their pants, managing to remove his shoed in the process. Bard gasped loudly and arched up Sebastian held their erections together and began pumping them. Sebastian hummed, the vibrations against his neck adding to Bard’s pleasure. Sebastian lightly pressed his fingers to Bard’s lips, and the cook grabbed his wrist and sucked as expected. Sebastian was a bit surprised at the feel of Bard’s tongue so skillfully wetting his fingers; he imagined the warm lips parted against something else, and Bard groaned against Sebastian’s fingers as the butler grew harder at the thought.

Sebastian reclaimed his fingers, then pushed up to kiss Bard as he pressed his fingers into the cook. Bard moaned as Sebastian played with his entrance, pumping and scissoring to prepare him. Bard arched into Sebastian’s touch, and the butler smiled through their kiss as he added a third finger. Bard flinched, then moaned more loudly as Sebastian pumped his fingers rhythmically in and out.

After a few moments, Sebastian removed his fingers, and Bard grunted at the discomfort. He stilled a moment as Sebastian’s head pressed against his entrance. They were both panting now; and Bard looked into Sebastian’s glowing red eyes as the butler pressed into his tight hole; head, then shaft, half way, three quarters, to the hilt. Bard was shivering, in both pain and pleasure, anticipation and slight fear. Then Sebastian smiled and Bard closed his eyes tightly and buried his head in the crook of Sebastian’s neck as Sebastian began thrusting.

Bard found himself biting the pearly skin against his mouth, whining against the pain as Sebastian plowed into him. Sebastian noted this, his smile dropping. He altered his angle, trying one way and another. When Bardroy cried out; body arching against Sebastian and arms wrapping around the butler’s shoulders, Sebastian’s smiled returned. The butler slammed into Bard’s prostate, making the ma beneath him writhe as he met each thrust, in part guiding Sebastian to that one spot that made the cook’s eyes go blurry and head become empty of all but an overwhelming amount of pleasure. And, when Sebastian began stroking Bard as well, the cook lost it, coming harder than he could remember with a heavy cry. The release caused the cook to clench all his muscles; Sebastian thrust hard into Bard’s tight hole, coming with a grunt inside the cook.

The two men staid as they were a moment, panting. Then Sebastian make a small noise, and pulled out slowly. Bard grunted as he did, then opened his eyes to look at the butler. Sebastian looked back down at him; they’re expressions were surprisingly similar; both were a bit dazed and surprised, but also content. The Sebastian smiled and shifted to lay next to Bardroy on the bed. Bard half turned to curl against the butler, and Sebastian threw a careless arm around him. With some tricky maneuvering, the butler also managed to pull the blankets from beneath them and over them. The two laid in the dark for a while as their breathing leveled and hearts slowed down, the silence lulling them closer to slumber as Bardroy at least was exhausted.

“Bardroy,” Sebastian started. He needed to disillusion any romantic notions the cook might have, before they managed to change the current situation.

“You don’t have to say anything; I get it,” Bard said, eyes half closed. Sebastian blinked, tilting his head uncomfortably to look at the cook.

“Do you?” he asked, curious. Bardroy snorted.

“You’re not the first demon I’ve come across, Sebastian,” Bard said, making the butler’s eyes widen. “I get it; I’m just a means to an end.”

Sebastian stared a moment, then sighed and smiled, adjusting his hold on Bardroy. It wasn’t long before the cook’s deep, even breathes let Sebastian know he had fallen asleep. Sebastian shifted himself so that he was laying facing Bard. The cook’s face was calm in sleep, and Sebastian thought of the man’s words as he brushed the back of his fingers against the cook’s face.

He was right. Bard had been a means to an end for Sebastian. As a demon, there was nothing more a mere human could be for him. Because he was a demon, he only used humans to his own needs, what ever they may be. So Bard couldn’t be more than a means to an end.

It was impossible.

____________________________________________________________________

Sebastian began running the day’s schedule through his head.

First would be the young master’s morning tea and treats; then breakfast for the young master, joined by Lady Elizabeth, whom had joined them last night. Next the young master would take to his study to deal with some Funtom finances, and then violin lessons at 9:30. At 12 would be a luncheon on the lawn, with entertainment in the form of a sparring match. Then at 1:40 was the young master’s fencing lesson, and at 3:00 arithmetic. At 4:30 would be a ride on the estate with Lady Elizabeth, followed by dinner upon their return. After dinner the young master would deal with more business matters, and at 7:40 Sebastian would bring him his evening tea. Following this, the young master would call for Sebastian when he wished to retire.

Now that he had finished that, he shifted slightly to look down at Bardroy. The cook was wrapped against him, head tucked under the butler’s chin. They were laying in Sebastian’s bed, nude but for the blanket that came up to their waists. Sebastian took a breath through his nose; Bardroy’s scent filled his nostrils – musk, gun power, kerosene, spices as well as two indiscernible scents; one that was uniquely Bardroy, as well as one that was vaguely familiar yet implacable. However, Sebastian knew the scent to be a part of the cook and paid it no real mind.

Sebastian and Bard had been sleeping together for some months now, and the demon had grown rather fond of the arrangement. He had an outlet for some of the excess energy he near always had on a usual day, and with Bard’s athletic physic, the cook was also hard to tire (though it did happen a few times a month when Sebastian would let the cook go with only a feint of attempting his work without a word). What Sebastian appreciated most, however, was the convenience of a partner whom held no expectations of a relationship, nor felt a need to divulge any hint of his current circumstances. In fact, there had been occasions where the cook had been more concerned with caution then the butler (of course, Bard did not have Sebastian’s enhanced senses in order to know that they were truly alone, even in less than discreet locations).

As gray rays of sun filtered through the drawn curtains of Sebastian’s room, the butler gently detangled himself from Bardroy, taking care not to wake him. Sebastian rose and in quick fashion dressed himself. Tightening his tie, he looked over at Bard.

The cook’s sleeping face was calm, though there seemed to be a slight trouble tinge to it that Sebastian was uncertain as to what the source was. However, there was no reason for this to bother the butler, although his eyes may lingered a moment longer than necessary before he leaned down and gently shook the cook’s shoulder to rouse him.

“Bardroy,” Sebastian said, and the cook gave a light groan before sitting up.

“Morning already?’ he asked, eyes scanning the room groggily for his clothes. Since the cook slept in Sebastian’s room near every day, they had developed a routine they were currently putting into practice. Sebastian would rise and dress, the wake Bard, whom would do the same, and then both would go about their duties as if nothing more existed between them than the camaraderie of servants… unless Sebastian required Bard’s time during the day. But other than that, there was not much more; no awkward conversations, or discussions of what precisely they were or felt. It was a truly glorious arrangement. Sebastian could not have planned it better himself.

The butler frowned as he pushed the young master’s morning tea cart down the hall. He had began noticing a trend in his thoughts as of late; he seemed to be constantly reminding himself of just how perfect his arrangement with Bard was; as if he needed to remind himself. There was no need, of course, to do such a thing, as Sebastian was well aware of the excellent arrangement he had, and yet…

“Sebastian, you seem distracted,” Ciel said. Sebastian flinched as he buttoned Ciel’s shirt. He had been going through his morning routine with the young master, a large art of his consciousness absent as he had been contemplating his recent thoughts. Sebastian smiled up at Ciel as he continued.

“Forgive me, young master,” he said. Ciel ‘tch’ed and looked away, allowing Sebastian to finish dressing him in relative silence. As the butler took his leave of the earl, walking down the long, high ceiling hallways to check that all was prepared for breakfast, he turned his thoughts again to his current arrangement. However, he could find no fault with it as he checked the dining room and made sure that Lady Elizabeth had risen. As he approached the kitchen , however, he let his thoughts fall way.

Standing in the doorway, he watched as Bardroy worked. The cook was unaware of him, and the butler knew it. Something about the situation enticed Sebastian; the thrill of playing the predator when he had gone so long without needing to. The power of sliding up, silent, lithe, dangerous; completely in control, able to manipulate the situation any way he wished as he reached forward…

Bard jumped, slamming forward into the edge of the table as Sebastian’s arms slid around his waist and the butler licked behind his ear. Sebastian chuckled, watching Bard’s face as the cook sighed and set down the knife he’d been using.

“Ya know, I haven’t finished-“ he started.

“Don’t concern yourself,” Sebastian said, cutting him off as he let one of his hands travel upwards, beginning to tease Bard’s nipple through his uniform. Bard flinched, then relaxed, letting Sebastian have his way. The butler nibbled his earlobe as he let his other hand travel downwards, shifting around Bard’s side to slid his hand beneath the cook’s apron.

The butler hummed as he realized Bard was already getting a hard on, loving the control he had over the cook’s body. He’d barely begun and already Bardroy was clay in his hands, being shaped by the demon’s will. That level of control caused the butler to get his own hard on, and after a moment he spun Bard around to face him.

Sebastian kept the cook pinned against the table as he roughly claimed his lips, and Bard moaned as the butler pressed tightly against him, making their manhoods rub against each other through the layers of fabric between. Bardroy was panting, eyes going hazy with lust as Sebastian rocked his hips against the cook. Sebastian knew there was enough time before breakfast for what he intended, and that Mayrin and Finnian would be busy until then.

So, without much care, he began undoing the brass buttons on Bard’s uniform, leaning his head down to suck on the cook’s neck when enough flesh had been revealed to him. Bard groaned, and Sebastian partially picked him up so that the cook was sitting on the table as the butler continued his activities. He paused his unbuttoning to hold Bardroy’s waist with one hand, grinding against him as his other hand traced the bruise on the other side of Bardroy’s neck from the past night. Sebastian smiled as he continued, revealing a bit in his ownershi-

Both men flinched as one of the summoning bells rang. By the tone only discernable to Sebastian, it was for the drawing room. That would be the young master, if he was not mistaken.

After a few moments filled with no sound save panting, Sebastian pulled back, taking a step worth’s of distance from the cook. Bard sighed, then gave a smile that Sebastian couldn’t quite define. It was in parts bittersweet, resigned, wistful and not surprised. Not precisely upset and yet not happy, either.

“The young master calls,” Bard said, sliding off the table and fixing his uniform, the smile still in place. Sebastian waited a fraction of a second; he wasn’t sure what for, then smiled softly.

“My apologies; I must see to the young master’s wishes,” he said, and Bard nodded slightly, turning back to his work. Sebastian strode out of the room, frowning once he was out of sight.

What had that smile been? Bard had been the one to say there were no feelings between the two of them; he was simply a means to an end for the demon. Yet Sebastian suspected by that one smile that the cook didn’t feel precisely as he said he did; what curious things human hearts are, to choose whom their master’s loyalty belonged to even when the master knew better. Was that the case, then? Despite his better knowledge, had Bardroy developed actually feelings for Sebastian? The butler contemplated this as he made his way to the drawing room. Then he had another, more disturbing thought.

Why did it matter to him?

“I’ve received a message from Her Majesty,” Ciel said, handing the opened envelope to Sebastian as he continued looking over some paperwork.

“Bombings in London? How troublesome for Her Majesty,” Sebastian said as he read through the letter. Apparently there had been unexplained bombings within Lodon; however, they were all within the poor district, and no one had been harmed, and thus were relatively unknown. The Queen wanted Ciel to stop the bombings before someone did get hurt, requesting his immediate presence in London.

“Indeed; as it is my duty, we will travel to London tomorrow,” Ciel said, putting his neatly stacked papers away in a drawer and sliding out of his seat. Sebastian bowed, a hand over his heart, smiling.

“Leave all the preparations to me, young master,” he said. Ciel snorted.

“Of course; who else would I leave them to?” he said, striding past the butler on his way presumably to the dining room, where Lady Elizabeth no doubt waited by this hour. Sebastian looked at the letter and sighed; the preparations were a small task, truly, but they meant he would be up rather late after all else had been taken care of. Ah, well, he thought as he tucked the letter into his jacket, one night won’t do much harm.

Bard hadn’t seen much of Sebastian that day. The butler had told him that morning he needed to make preparations to leave for London, so it wasn’t like he was shocked or anything, it was just weird after seeing so much of the man lately.

Bard sat on a chair in the kitchen, smoking. He hadn’t done that for a while, either. Sebastian had said something about having to wash his sheets due to the smell or something, so Bard had tried to keep his smoking down and give the man less work. Not that there weren’t other reason Sebastian had to wash his sheets more often, but Bard wasn’t going to add to them.

The cigarette twirled thoughtfully in Bard’s mouth, making rambling smoke patterns above his head. Well, at least the twirling looked thoughtfully. Bard really wasn’t thinking all the much, if he was being honest. He knew there was no reason to wait up for Sebastian, yet he was sitting here, waiting. He also knew if Sebastian was going to screw him tonight, he would, no matter where he was, so it didn’t matter if he waited or not.

He knew all this, and yet he sat, a cigarette twirling idly in his mouth as it grew darker outside.

Sebastian wiped his hands against each other, finally finished with the preparations for the trip to London. It had taken longer than expected; to the butler’s misfortune, he was unable to work on the preparations throughout the day as he had planned. He had completed them all only after the young master had retired, and it was now well past the midnight hour. Not that this concerned the demon terribly, as he had no need of sleep, but he resolved that it meant a night to himself.

However, despite this resolution, the butler felt an intangible need to check the kitchen. Bardroy had certainly taken it upon himself to retire by now, yet somehow the demon felt this wasn’t so as he turned into the kitchen. And, sure enough, there the cook was, slumped in a chair. He had fallen asleep sitting there, a burnt out cigarette in his mouth and a few butts on the floor. Sebastian sighed.

He walked up and cleaned up the butts, then removed the cigarette from Bard’s mouth, disposing of them all. When this task was done, he looked over at the cook again as he patted the small ashes from his hands. He sighed through his nose, most likely at the absurdity of humans, and walked over.

He slid one hand under Bard’s knees, and the other he pushed between the man’s back and the chair. In an easy movement, he lifted the cook, tilting him slightly towards himself. Bardroy made a small noise, but remained asleep. Sebastian looked down at him a moment; the man’s weight was no challenge for him, and there was truly no reason to wake him at this hour. However, there was one thought that troubled him; since Bardroy knew what Sebastian was, and his motives behind their arrangement, why had the man attempted to wait for him at all?

Sebastian sighed at the failings of humans and their weakness, but only gently chastised Bardroy in his mind. The butler turned easily and quietly quitted the kitchen, intent on reaching his room and allowing the cook some real rest before tomorrow.

Unawares to the slightly distracted Sebastian, Finnian peeked around the corner of an adjoining hallway as the butler carried Bard through. The boy had been having trouble sleeping, and had decided that some fresh air and maybe a snack would help. And he had been on his way to the kitchen, a little groggy, when he had seen Sebastian pick up Bard.

Although naïve, Finny had sensed that this wasn’t something he was supposed to see, and had retreated to the hallway, staying out of sight. After Sebastian had turned out of sight, Finny turned and sat, lotus style, puzzling out what he had just seen.

He’d only ever seen Mister Sebastian carry the young master that way, but that was because he was the butler and sometimes needed to. But he was never that nice to Bard, not that he remembered… actually, lately Mister Sebastian had been very nice to Bard, at least by the way he usually acted, that is. But why would Mister Sebastian…

Finny’s eyes widened as it hit him. Maybe… and he jumped up, smiling happily. Maybe Mister Sebastian and Bard liked each other! Yeah! That had to be it! It explained everything! But…

Finny stopped smiling, putting a finger to his lips. Mister Sebastian and Bard were both guys, weren’t they? And guys were supposed to like girls, right?

Then Finny smiled again. Oh well, he thought; as long as they’re happy, I think it’s alright! He did, however, decide not to tell anyone about his discovery as he skipped back to his room, happy that his friends were happy.

Sebastian had taken off his tailcoat, tie and vest and had unbuttoned his shirt. He had removed Bard’s clothing save his undergarments. When he had lain down beside the man, Bardroy and curled against him only moments later, almost as if by instinct. And, truthfully, after so many months sleeping beside the demon, it most likely was.

Sebastian had, after a length of time, turned towards Bard, letting a hand rest on the man’s waist. Bard slept; his face still calm with that slight tinge of trouble, though now Sebastian was near certain of the source of it. The hand Sebastian had let rest on Bard’s waist slowly slid up the man’s side, following the curve of his arm, then gently to brush the side of the cook’s somewhat scruffy face. He let it rest there, just feeling the skin beneath his smooth fingers. Rough, weathered and warm. Sebastian closed his eyes and inhaled Bard’s scent. Musk, gun powder, kerosene, spices and two unique other scents. The butler lifted his hand and placed it back on the cook’s waist.

Nothing had changed. Nothing would. He was a demon, with an arrangement that suited his interest. That was all.

“Ciel~!” Soma yelled, bursting from the townhouse to half tackle the young master, a wide grin plastered on his tanned face.

“Get off me!” Ciel commanded, vainly trying to dislodge the prince as Soma continued lavishing him with unwanted attention. After so many hours of riding in the carriage that morning, the Phantomhive household had finally arrived in London in their typical fashion.

“Ciel~! You took so long to visit me~!” Soma continued as the servants passed by with the young master’s baggage. Although there were, of course, clothing and such available within the townhouse, Ciel always insisted on certain objects being transported between the two locations. Mostly his paperwork, as well as a few other essentials, which, as a matter of course, were left to the servants to unload.

“Listen when people are speaking to you!” Ciel said, still vainly trying to escape the enthusiastic prince’s grasp. Sebastian stood nearby, but he found his gaze drawn from Ciel and Soma to the carriage. Naturally, as the head of the servants, he needed to oversee the unloading at the least from a distance. And, if his eyes happened to fall upon a servant in particular, well… Sebastian smiled to himself. There was no need to justify his actions to himself; if he wished to look upon Bardory, than there was no reason for him to feel he shouldn’t. He was, after all, screwing him.

Bard stood on the spoke of the front carriage wheel, pulling suitcases down from the top. He was in plain clothes, a hat shading his eyes. But the clothes didn’t hide the breadth of his shoulders, or muscles of his arms and legs as they flexed to endure the weight of the valises as they were half carried down to be handed to Finnian. There were a few sweat drops at his temple, and Sebastian’s eyes began glowing slightly as it reminded him of a slightly different circumstances; Bard was rather more exerted, with less clothing on his person, making the most-

“Hello, Mister Sebastian,” Sebastian flinched, his reprieve broken by the deep Indian voice. Sebastian turned to smile at Agni as he approached.

“Hello, Agni; I trust the town house has been safe in your hands?” Sebastian said. The butler was surprised to find himself somewhat disappointed to have his thoughts interrupted; however, given the tract of his thoughts, it was hard to say anyone else wouldn’t be. Besides this, Sebastian knew he would have plenty of time with the cook later to act upon what thoughts happened to cross his mind.

“Of course; I have made certain to keep everything in high order,” Agni said. Then his face fell a little. “However, there are some unplanned for guests…”

“Earl, you have arrived,” Lau said as he appeared from the door, Ren Mao at his hip.

“Lau? What are you doing here?” Ciel asked, having managed to push Soma off his slightly. The prince, however, took his moment of inattention to wrap his arms back around the earl. Lau waved a hand hidden in his sleeves as he walked forward, smiling his usual slightly arrogant, carefree smile.

“When there are storm clouds such as these, the Earl Phantomhive is certain to appear,” the man said. It seemed as if he was aware of the bombings, then. Of course, as it was Lau, there was no real guarantee to such an assumption.

After several hours, Ciel and his household had finally managed to move past the shenanigans of Lau, Ren Mao and Soma and settle themselves into the town house. By that time, however, the young master had been ready to retire, having had dealt with Soma’s enthusiastic attentions the entirety of the unpacking. As he had aided the master into his bed, the earl had declared they would begin their investigation the next morning, which suited Sebastian perfectly. It meant he would have the night to himself.

Bardroy was waiting for him in the hallway outside his door. By this time, there was no longer a need for words between them. There was no nervous stuttering, pretending that what they were doing was nothing in particular. There was no need for awkward pretense; they both knew it was a physical relationship, no emotions required.

Sebastian internally frowned. He was doing it again; this strange reminding himself of what he already knew. He would concern himself with it more later, he decided, as he slipped into his room, pulling Bardroy after him by a hand around the man’s waist. The butler slid the door closed with his foot as he locked his lips against Bard’s, enjoying the coarse feel and slightly salty taste, flicking his tongue across the other’s lips briefly before gaining entrance. As their tongues tangled, Sebastian tilting his head slightly to gain a better angle, the men began undressing each other. Sebastian dealt with the buttons of Bardroy’s green vest, followed by the white, collared shirt beneath. As he did this, Bard in turn loosed Sebastian’s tie, then unbuttoned his tailcoat and vest.

By that time, Sebastian had already finished unbuttoning Bard’ uniform, and the demon pushed Bard’s body against the door to push the shirt and vest off, pinning his arms down as well. Sebastian’s eyes, half lidded, pulsed slightly as he pulled away from the kiss to give his attention to Bard’s neck. The cook moaned as Sebastian also used the opportunity to begin teasing one of his nipples as his other hand pulled the cook’s clothes half way down his arms and back.

Finding a need to touch the cook’s skin, Sebastian pulled away a moment to shed all his upper garments in one move, taking off his gloves as well. Too quick for Bard to do anything between, the butler resumed his ministrations, using the hand not teasing the cook’s nipple to trace the curve of his back, worshipping the skin beneath him. Sebastian let his other hand slide under Bardroy’s arm to augment his tracing of the panes of the cook’s back. He gently sucked and nipped his way from Bard’s neck, trailing down to his untended nipple and taking it between his teeth before proceeding to suck lightly on it. Bardroy moaned again, hips pressing forward, nails digging into Sebastian’s forearms as the cook’s grip tightened. Sebastian smiled slightly, pulling his hands from Bardroy’s back, then pushing the cook’s waist back against the door. He teased Bard’s nipple a bit longer before continuing his downward trail of nips and sucks, as well as light kisses as he moved to the center of Bard’s torso, continuing down his stomach.

As Sebastian’s body shifted down, Bard’s hands slide up the butler’s arms, coming to rest on his shoulders. Bard kept his head against the door; watching with half lidded eyes as Sebastian undid his pants. The butler noticed his gazed and smiled darkly up at him as he slowly slid the garment down, catching the band of Bard’s undergarments as well to pull them down together. The butler continued to watch the cook’s expression as he slowly licked the head of his member; Bardroy’s took a shaking breath, still watching. Something about maintaining eye contact seemed to increase the tension between them, making Bard oversensitive to every touch. Sebastian sent feather light kisses down Bard’s length, letting one of his hands slide down to the inside of his thigh.

Without warning, Sebastian took Bard’s entirety into his mouth, making the cook groan, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. Sebastian smiled and hummed even as he suppressed his gag reflex, massaging the thick vein beneath with his tongue. The demon began to bob his head back and forth, sliding his hand closer to grope Bardroy’s gems. The cook began writhing against the door, pumping into Sebastian’s mouth as the butler closed his, focusing on his ministrations.

“Oh fuck,” Bard said, pushing Sebastian back. The cook was panting, holding a hand over his mouth. He had been almost to climax, and had stopped Sebastian before his will faltered. Sebastian looked up at Bard, expressionless a moment. Then he smiled, standing up and slipping his hand beneath Bard’s to push it away. The cook opened his eyes for a surprised moment before closing them again as Sebastian claimed his lips, this time firm but gentle; a savory sensation.

Bard moaned into the kiss as it was simultaneously deepened and Sebastian began pumping his member, making it slick with precum. Bard pressed against Sebastian, wrapping his arms around the demon’s shoulders and keeping their bodies close as he could as Sebastian continued. Sebastian found himself smirking victoriously; this was his doing. The way Bard reacted to his every touch, in just the way the butler planned; it was all due to Sebastian.

Except, of course, his victory was not yet complete.

Sebastian used his free hand to free his own hard member, pushing his trousers down and stepping lightly out of them. Then he pressed their members together, causing Bard to hiss in a breath, breaking the kiss. The butler hummed as Bard rested his head in the crook of Sebastian’s neck, and the butler continued his ministrations. He reached over Bard’s shoulder to wet the fingers of his free hand, then looked over the cook’s shoulder to watch as he ran his finger over Bard’s entrance. The cook shiver, his hold on Sebastian tightening as the butler continued teasing his entrance. As the demon pressed on finger in, Bardroy whimpered, then pressed his lips against the demon’s neck. Sebastian smiled, pumping his one finger for a bit before adding the second. The butler continued scissoring and pumping, adding a third finger as Bard began trembling against him.

Sebastian pulled his fingers out, then pushed Bardroy farther up the door. The cook responded by wrapping his legs around the butler, bracing himself for what was to come. Sebastian pressed his head against Bard’s entrance, then paused a moment. Something felt… off. There was something, something…

Sebastian pushed Bard back at the shoulders, claiming his lips as he thrust. There was still something missing, the butler felt; Bard was responding beautifully to him, making the most delicious moans and counter movements to his thrusts, and yet… and it hit him. The demon pulled out of the kiss to lean by the cook’s ear.

“Say my name,” Sebastian said, voice low and heavy. Bard flinched, surprised. Then moaned as Sebastian slammed his sweetspot.

“S-Sebastian!” Bard said, adjusting his hold to run one of his hands into the hair at the back of Sebastian’s head. Sebastian smiled; there it was, just what he needed. “Sebastian!”

It wasn’t much longer before Bard went over the edge, calling Sebastian’s name and pushing the demon over the edge as well. Sebastian pulled out and they remained still, panting for a few moments. Then, too quick to trace, Sebastian was leaning on top of Bard on the bed, smiling darkly down at him.

“Sebastian, I don’t know if I can go another round,” Bard said. Sebastian blew a small breath through his nose, then leaned down kiss the side of Bard’s neck. Bard made an almost moan at that, and Sebastian continued smiling.

“Why is that?” the demon asked, letting his hands wander across the tract of Bard’s skin. Bard shivered lightly under the cool touch.

“Well, it might be nice to walk tomorrow when you’re not here,” Bard said, and Sebastian paused in his ministrations, the gears in his mind turning.

“Is that your only complaint?” the butler asked. Bard blinked, not sure how to answer and unable to see the butler’s face, only able to feel his lips move against his skin.

“Well… yeah-“ before he could continue, Bard found himself being moved. In an instant, he was leaning over Sebastian, whom was smiling a bit wickedly. Bard’s jaw fell open; this couldn’t mean…

“Then maybe we should try something different… if you can handel it?” Sebastian said, his eyes glowing at the last. Bardroy flinched, then closed his eyes a moment. It was obvious that Sebastian was baiting him… and yet Bard couldn’t quite resist the urge to rise to the challenge. Sebastian knew his tactic had worked when Bardroy opened his eyes and they were calm and resolute. The cook leaned down and claimed Sebastian’s lips softly, one hand beginning to lazily trace the demon’s body. Sebastian found himself highly amused; it would be interesting to see how this panned out.

Bardroy’s movements were hesitant, but grew more bold as time went on. Soon, he was doing enough that Sebastian felt pleasantly buoyed and buzzed, but nothing farther. If Sebastian had been human, Bard would be doing enough to drive him wild. However, the butler was a demon, and it was a hard task indeed to please a demon by the same means. Sebastian continued smiling pleasantly, however, until Bard leaned next to his ear. The cook smirked.

“Just kidding,” he said, but before the demon had time to ponder that he found himself throwing his head back and moaning; somehow, Bardroy had went from surprisingly sufficient to incredibly intense. The cook seemed to know exactly where to touch Sebastian to set his cold skin alight; he knew the perfect amount of pressure to suck at his neck, and Sebastian found himself hard once more with surprising ease.

And the cook had not even touched below his waist yet.

When the hell did he-? Sebastian began thinking, but his thoughts were cut off as Bard began jerking him, deliciously rough making Sebastian whimper at the full bodied sensation. And he wasn’t going to last much longer; definitely not long enough for-

“Ah!” Sebastian cried out in surprise as Bard thrust into him without any preparation. The pain was searing, but Bard was still slick with his own seed, and it made it easy on the demon as the man began thrusting rythmatically, searching. And, after some good tries, he found the spot that made Sebastian arc off the bed, head digging into the pillow and eyes tearing from rapture of the pleasure, offset magnificently with the slight bite of pain. Bard continued to ram the spot, making Sebastian groan and writhe beneath him. The butler was close, so close…

Bard leaned next to Sebastian’s ear, close enough that his lips brushed the sensitive skin. Sebastian could feel Bard’s stubble against his cheek, and he panted with his mouth loosely open, trying to keep the shambles of his pride together and not lose himself entirely.

“Sebastian,” Bard said. His voice was husky and seductive; not smooth like silk, but masculine, primal… demanding. It pushed the demon over the edge, and he hissed and shuddered as he came, Bard only a few beats behind.

Bard barely kept from collapsing on Sebastian, pulling out as they both remained panting. Sebastian’s eyes glowed and he frowned as he looked over at Bard. The cook raised his head, and they looked at each other, still panting. Bard wondered what would happen next; he knew Sebastian had certainly not expected to be so utterly used.

Sebastian was not entirely certain what to be upset about. There was something wrong, something intangible that was driving the demon mad that he just couldn’t put his finger on. So, naturally, he assumed it was from what had just happened, except… it wasn’t. And the butler knew it wasn’t, because if it were, he wouldn’t be fighting the urge to press up and kiss the lips above him.

After a moment, Bardroy sighed and laid down next to Sebastian. They were now both staring at the ceiling, silent. The time inched by, and the recent activity began to take its toll on Bard; his eyes began sliding down, and it was an effort to stay awake longer.

“Bardroy,” Sebastian said. Bard tried to wake himself up a bit, turning his head to look over. Sebastian hadn’t moved an inch; however, Bard realized what was meant and that it was the only invitation he would get.

The cook shifted to lay against Sebastian, and the demon placed one arm around him. It didn’t take long for the man to fall asleep. After a few minutes, Sebastian sighed and pulled a blanket over them. He had been the one to suggest they change places; he had gotten exactly what he’d asked for.

Or, rather, more than he bargained for.

Sebastian and the young master set out early that morning; Ciel had decided to forgo breakfast in order to avoid certain…. difficulties.

They walked through the unfamiliar streets of the poor district, on their way to the scene of the first bombing. It was a chilly morning, so they were both bound in long coats, and the young master wore a short stovepipe hat. As Ciel’s cane clicked along the uneven cobbles, his rich attire drawing the stars of the lower class around him, Sebastian allowed his thoughts to wander.

The night before was still rolling around the demon’s mind. There was some thoughts niggling at Sebastian’s conscious, most of which he was aware of and trying to ignore. He had come to a point where he knew he had somehow developed feelings towards Bardroy, but refused to acknowledge the information formally. However, denial had never suited the demon, and this contradiction sat uneasy upon him; especially since he could not find any justification that would blanket his true motives.

“Sebastian,” Ciel said, snapping the butler out of the thoughts he was trying not to think. Sebastian was surprised to find he needed to look back at the young master. In his reverie, the butler had continued walking past the site of the first bombing. In fact, he was nearly ten feet away, and by the vexed look on Ciel’s noble brow, it was not the first time the earl had called out to him.

“Yes, young master?” Sebastian said, smiling as he returned to Ciel’s side. The young earl glared up at the butler, then huffed and looked away.

“Nevermind it, just pay attention,” the boy said, walking into the charred rubble left by the explosion. Sebastian gave a slight bow, and then the smile dropped from his face as he straightened and looked up at the gray blue sky. Knowing as he did, he had the passing wonder if Bardroy felt as conflicted as he.

The cook sat on the window ledge, looking out at the same gray blue sky the butler had. He sat, elbow to knee and chin in his hand, staring intensely at nothing and yet there was no edge to the gaze. The blue eyes were soft, revealing nothing of the workings of the mind behind them. However, as he had been sitting thus since the morning began, it had become apparent to the other members of the household that something was bothering the cook.

Finny wondered if it had anything to do with Mister Sebastian, but didn’t have the courage to ask. Also, he still felt as if he wasn’t supposed to know about Bard and Mister Sebastian. Mayren hadn’t the slightest idea what could be wrong with her fellow servant, and, as the situation had not to her knowledge ever occurred before, she also did not know how to approach Bardroy. In the end, it was Agni whom approached him.

“You seem troubled, my friend,” the tall Indian man asked in his sultry voice. Bard flinched, then turned his head to look at Agni, scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh, yeah, sorry, just some stuff on my mind,” he said, a half hearted smile on his face. Agni frowned, sensing that the cook was troubled.

“Well, is there no one you can speak to to ease your trouble?” the Indian butler asked. Bard opened his mouth to reply, then he paused a moment, his eyes widening in realization. Then he grinned and his blue irises danced with light as he shot to his feet.

“Ya know what? There is someone I can talk to! Thanks, Agni!” Bard said, then rushed out of the room. The others stared after him, and after a moment he poked his head around the door, donning his cap. He had taken the time to change into his street clothes, and felt lighter than before.

“I’ll be going out for a bit,” he said, then disappeared from the door. The other servants and Agni looked at each other in wonderment, puzzling where the cook had decided to go so quickly.

Bard hummed a bit as he walked through the crowded streets. He hadn’t visited his grandfather in so long, he’d pretty much forgotten the old geezer lived there. Which, he thought, was pretty sad considering they wrote each other frequently. Bard knew his gramps wouldn’t care, though, being the kind of guy he was.

His gramps was, however, one of the best people Bard could think to talk to, even about something as strange as this.

The investigation had been fruitless thus far; and even “barrowing” the records from the police had yielded no clues to whom the bomber was. As this was so, Ciel had decided to pay a visit to the Undertaker.

They walked through the familiar streets, turning down a near empty alley to come upon the large, wooden sign announcing the Undertaker’s shop.

“We need to get this done quickly,” Ciel said, and Sebastian nodded. The demon opened the door and flinched in surprise, becoming frozen where he stood. Then he smiled. Well, he certainly had not expected this.

The Undertaker sat on the counter of his shop, wearing his usual slightly lunatic grin. But, sitting across from him on top of one of the coffins, appearing shocked as Sebastian had moments ago, sat Bardroy.

“Bardroy? What are you doing here?” Ciel asked as he walked in. Sebastian closed the door behind the earl, still smiling as a few things clicked into place. What, indeed.

“Ohohoho~ what a coincidence,” Undertaker said, jumping lightly down from the counter. “I guess it’s true that if you speak of a devil, he will appear.”

“I believe the phrase is ‘speak of the devil’,” Sebastian said, still smiling as his slightly glowing eyes remained trained on Bardroy even as the Undertaker slid up to the butler. The cook flushed, then looked away, scratching the back of his neck.

“What is going on here?” Ciel asked, looking around. The Undertaker giggled, twirling back to stand behind Bard, putting his hands on the cook’s shoulders and leaning close to him.

“Has the Earl not met my grandson?” he said, and Bard looked tiredly over at Ciel and Sebastian.

“G-grandson?” Ciel sputtered, taking a step back. “Is that true?”

“Yeah,” Bard said, running a hand through his hair. He seemed a bit resigned by this point, waiting to see what would happen next. Sebastian cupped his chin, also curious as to how this would all pan out.

“And what you said earlier…” Ciel said, the gears in his mind turning.

“We were discussing your butler, yes~” Undertaker said, skipping around the room to stand behind Ciel.

“But… why?” Ciel asked, turning he head as the Undertaker leaned down on his shoulders.

“Perhaps you should ask them that,” the Undertaker said, smiling over at Bardroy. Ciel looked over.

“Sebastian…?” he asked. The butler looked at Ciel, then casually strolled over to Bardroy. Before the cook could react, Sebastian pulled him off the coffin by his waist and turned his head to kiss him full on the mouth. Bardroy stiffened, then relaxed and returned the kiss even as his face flushed farther, hands gripping Sebastian’s forearms. Then Sebastian pulled away, smiling as he looked over at Ciel and the Undertaker.

“Does that answer your question, young master?” he asked. Ciel was paralyzed, his expression equal parts shock and disgust. Undertaker, however, was still smiling, but there seemed to be a calculating undertone added to it. Sebastian wondered what the man was thinking; after all, if he and Bardroy had been indeed discussing him, there was no telling what the Undertaker thought of him.

“Exactly what the hell is going on?” Ciel finally found his voice, his face colored by indignation. Sebastian shifted his position so that he held Bard around his waist, enjoying the expression it was causing his young master to have.

“Even a demon has needs, young master,” Sebastian said. Undertaker had backed away from the earl now, and Sebastian was keeping a wary eye on him as he continued.

“Don’t be an-“ Ciel started, then stopped. He looked at Bardroy. “You know.”

“Uh, yeah…” Bard said, scratching the back of his neck. Ciel’s eyes were ice.

“Explain yourself,” the young earl said. Bard sighed.

“I was once a shinigami,” Undertaker said unexpectedly, appearing beside Sebastian before the demon knew he had moved. However, Sebastian did not let his discomfort show, merely keeping a closer eye on the Undertaker as he subconsciously tightened his grip on Bard’s waist slightly.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that when I was a kid,” Bard said, and Sebastian shifted his eyes without moving an inch. He was curious now, wondering what had brought such strange circumstances together.

“Ya see, I have an older brother. Ron. But his dad died of tuberculosis, so our mom remarried and had me. But my dad was near dirt poor, and Ron had a good inheritance from his old man. So I joined the military; it kind of pissed Ron off since we’re pretty good friends and all. And there was this girl, Liza, that was tryin’ for my attention, and Ron didn’t like her, either. And then Gramps showed up and all hell broke loose. Turned out Liza was a demon, and was after me cause of something. Well, Gramps let me and Ron know in front of Liza, and next thing I know Ron’s dead and Liza’s gone.

“But it turns out since Gramps was such a great shinigami, that members of our family can choose whether or not to become shinigami when they died. So Ron comes back to life as a shinigami, and when his powers manifested, it broke out part of mine, too. But only a small part. I can tell the difference between someone who is and isn’t human, and what they are. Because of that. Gramps explained shinigami and demons to the both of us then and there. The rest isn’ that interesting.”

“Hm,” Ciel said, looking away.

“Ohoho~ is the earl perhaps jealous?” Undertaker asked, sliding around Ciel. Ciel jumped, then smiled with a glare.

“What a careless emotion; I do not indulge in it,” he said. Sebastian focused on not chuckling. It was an obvious cover for the fact that Ciel was jealous; jealous that Bardroy had gotten to keep his brother although Ciel had lost his parents.

“How like the earl to say that,” Undertaker said, giving out a small lunatic giggle. Then Undertaker swept back to sit utop his desk once again. “But tell me; did you come to buy one of my special coffins?”

“No,” Ciel said, then glanced at Bard and Sebastian before continuing. “I need information on the recent bombings.”

“Ohohoho~ but there has been no need of my services in that,” Undertaker said. Sebastian blinked. Usually, even to learn that, Undertaker required a toll. What could make him give information freely…?

“That doesn’t mean you haven’t heard anything,” Ciel said. Undertaker’s grin changed once again, and he walked up and placed a finger almost to Ciel’s lips.

“I’ll give you this advice for free, but just this once,” he said. Ciel glanced over at Bard and Sebastian again, a mere glint of a gaze. “There will be shinigami working tonight; follow them, and you’ll get your clues.”

“Fine then; Sebastian,” Ciel said, turning to sweep out the door. Sebastian gave a light sigh, then pulled away from Bardroy and after Ciel. Before they made it to the door, however, the Undertaker chuckled. Ciel paused, then looked back at him. The man stood behind his desk now, holding up a skull for examination.

“One of the shinigami,” he said. “Will be Ronald Knox. Bardroy’s older brother.”

The occupants of the room paused, then Ciel and Sebastian looked over at Bardroy. Bard’s eyes were a bit wide, and after a moment, he looked back over at Ciel and Sebastian.

It had become apparent that one more than usual from the Phantomhive household would be aiding the Queen’s Guard Dog this time around.

“Well, it’s obvious that, given the circumstances, it would be prudent to include you in the current case, Bard,” Ciel said. They were wending their way back to the townhouse, Ciel in the lead with Bardroy and Sebastian a few steps behind. Bardroy scratched the back of his neck.

“I’ll do whatever I can to help,” the cook said. Sebastian gazed at him from the corner of narrowed eyes. There was something bothering the demon, and he refused to acknowledge it.

It had nothing to do with Bardroy’s past. Sebastian had no problems with the Undertaker, even if he had been a shinigami. Besides this, there was not anything else in the man’s past to cause him distress. No, Sebastian’s trouble lied not in the past, but the present…

But the butler spoke not a word as they continued on their way, arriving at the townhouse in good time. Upon their return, the other servants seemed to be curious as to Bard’s disappearance, but skittered around the actual question tediously, in the end not receiving an answer. Sebastian took note of this with an apathetic air as he tended to the young master. It wasn’t until after dinner that the demon caught the cook alone, cleaning up in the kitchen.

“Bardroy,” Sebastian said, taking a step inside. Bard jumped, then set down the pan he’d been cleaning and leaned back against the table. The butler did not typically announce his presence to the cook, and thus Bard suspected this was a different visit from the usual.

“Something wrong?” Bard asked. Sebastian’s eyes glowed a bit, swimming in the thoughts he was trying not think and the emotions he was denying he could ever possibly feel.

”I don’t think you should help with the bombing case,” Sebastian said. His face gave nothing away, though it may have appeared a tad angry to the unpracticed eye.

“What? Why?” Bard asked, brows furrowing. The cook couldn’t tell what the demon’s motives could be, and it didn’t make sense for Bard not to be on the case at this point.

“If you cannot control your own explosions, how will you handel explosions by someone competent?” Sebastian asked, tilting his head slightly. Bard’s jaw dropped. “You’ll only get yourself killed.”

“Are you fucking serious?” Bard asked. He started trembling, glaring at Sebastian. “What the hell are you pulling here?”

“I’m not ‘pulling’ anything; I’m just being honest,” the butler said.

Unbeknownst the couple, Prince Soma and Agni, drawn by the commotion, had come to stand beside the door, out of sight but listening to every word.

“I know how to take care of myself,” Bard said. Sebastian smiled cruelly.

“Clearly; that’s why you’ve gotten so many people close to you killed,” he said. Bard ground his teeth.

“What?” he asked. In the hall, Soma and Agni looked at each other in surprise, then peeked in the room. Sebastian shrugged.

“Your entire unit in the military, even your brother died because of you,” he said. His eyes had stopped glowing. “How were you taking care of yourself then?”

“You fucking bastard!” Bard said, throwing a punch at the butler. Sebastian side stepped easily. “What the fuck is this!?”

“What do you mean? I thought I was quite clear,” the demon said. Bard practically growled.

“Why do you even give a fuck?” he asked. “It’s not like I’m anything to you, right? Just a means to an end, remember?” the cook said, but his voice grew quiet at the end. He was looking Sebastian straight in the eyes, trying not appear searching as he waited for the butler to respond. Sebastian looked back, carefully schooling his expression to reveal nothing.

After a strained, silent collection of moments, Bard sighed and stormed out of the room.

Soma and Agni, seeing from around the corner Bard was leaving, quickly ducked back and down the hallway. Bard, however, turned down the other way, not coming close to seeing them.

“What are you thinking that was about, Agni?” Soma asked his butler in a whisper.

“I believe it had something to do with the strange sounds we heard last night, my prince,” Agni said. Soma suddenly brightened with realization.

“You think the butler and chef are laying together, then?” the prince asked, still whispering.

“That, and-” Agni began.

“What are you two doing?” Sebastian’s voice made both the Indian men jump. Slowly, they turned to look at the butler. Sebastian raised a brow at their nervous expressions. Then Soma jumped behind Agni and the Indian butler straightened up.

“Nothing, my friend, merely conversing for a moment,” he said, smiling. Sebastian stared a moment longer, then sighed, putting a hand to his forehead. He was feeling a bit run down, and did not have the patience to handel Soma and his servant at the moment.

His eyes opened half-lidded a moment, and they seemed heavy and dark in such a way that Agni and Soma flinched before staring in wonder. Then the demon shifted his gaze to look at them and they flinched.

“Just don’t loiter where you can disturb others,” Sebastian said, brushing past them. The Indian men stared after him, amazed.

“They are definitely lovers,” Soma said, and Agni nodded. “But what could be the trouble, then…?”

The strain in Bard and Sebastian’s relationship didn’t extend to only them, however; it leaked into the rest of the household as well. Not that the two would fight in front of anyone; quite to the contrary. They refused to speak to each other at all.

Finnian was concerned as he noticed this, wondering what had happened and if it would always be like this. Soma and Agni wondered what had made the cook and butler fight in the first place. Ciel had taken a stand of ignoring the two completely, not wishing to be involved in such a vulgar dilemma as long as his needs were looked after.

However, the tension seemed it would soon come to a head as Lau arrived, Ren Mao on his hip brining information on the bombing case. At least, he claimed to bring information regarding the bombing case. With Lau, it was really eighty-twenty (eighty percent of the time being when Lau had nothing to offer save unknown proverbs).

“Has the cook joined the case?” Lau asked when Bardroy remained in the room after the others had left.

“Yes, now what information do you have?” Ciel asked. He wanted to get this meeting over with as quickly as possible; and preferably before he ended up with a headache from whatever was going on between Bard and Sebastian.

“Why is the earl so impatient today? It has been difficult to get this information; at least allow me to enjoy some of your tea,” Lau said. Ciel sighed, a thought of ‘damn leech’ possibly crossing his mind as he waved to Sebastian.

The butler complied, however, serving tea to Lau required him to pass directly in front of Bardroy. They still said not a word to each other, but in passing their eyes just happened to meet. As time slowed a moment, apathetic red stared back at storming aqua. If the tension in the room could be measured on a scale of one to ten, it had jumped from an eighty to roughly a twenty nine. Lau shivered as Sebastian smiled at him, offering him tea.

“What is this? I feel an ominous air,” Lau said as he accepted the proffered cup.

“Maybe it’s just a chill from an icy tongue,” Bard said, looking off to the side. Sebastian’s face gave nothing away as he straightened his gloves.

“The perhaps someone could cause an explosion; it would be sure to warm things up,” the butler said. Lau and Ciel looked between cook and butler, slightly amazed.

“Oh no, wouldn’t want to go too far,” Bard said. He and Sebastian still refused to look at each other, responding as if another had spoken.

“I never go too far,” Sebastian said. Bardroy ground his teeth, almost growling in response.

“One could almost call this a lovers’ quarrel,” Lau announced to no one in particular. However, both Bardroy and Sebastian flinched, making the Chinese man raise a brow. “Oh, could it be a lovers’ quarrel after all?”

“Lau, your information,” Ciel said, clearly agitated. The Chinese man chuckled, causing the young earl further annoyance before answering.

“I have kept my ears open, for one of the buildings destroyed was mine,” he said. “Two whispers have told me where the next bombing may be, but it is in two different locations.”

“When will they occur?” Ciel asked. Lau’s eyes opened a crack to look at the earl as he smiled.

“Tonight,” he said.

Bard and Lau walked down the all but abandoned streets to one of the alleged bomb locations. Ciel had decided the case would be easier to work in pairs, and as it was clear the Earl would be with his butler, it had left the cook and the drug dealer as the second pair.

Not having known each other personally, the two were stuck in a rather awkward state as they made their way to the bomb site. After a while, Lau began humming slightly to himself, smiling his cryptic smile as Bard sighed. Waiting a few more moments, the Chinese man finally turned his close eyed gaze on the cook.

“So, cook, how is it you came to be in a relationship with the butler?” he asked. Bard snorted.

“It’s not a relationship,” he said. Lau frowned.

“Oh? But it seemed that way before…” he said, seeking an explanation. Bard sighed and looked off for a moment.

“It’s just physical; a means to an end,” he said. Lau pouted a bit, not satisfied.

“A means to an end for whom, I wonder,” he said, his eyes opening slightly to watch the cook’s reaction. Bard returned the gaze evenly.

“I don’t even know what you know anymore,” Bard said. Lau smiled as his eyes closed again.

“It just seems to me like there is more than just a physical relationship, that is all,” he said, shrugging. Bard sighed and smiled bittersweetly, running a hand through his hair.

“That’s because it’s one sided,” he said. Lau stopped in surprise, and Bard slowed to a stop a few steps ahead.

“Oh? Do you have no hope, then?” Lau said. Bard shook his head a bit.

“Not so much ‘hope’ as no chance,” Bard said.

“What do you mean?” Lau asked. Bard scratched the back of his neck.

“You see, I never meant to let it get more than physical; it just kind of… happened. But… I know he can’t feel the same, and I never expected him to. So I made my peace with it,” the cook said, smiling sadly.

“Can’t, or won’t?” Lau asked. Bard opened his mouth to reply, but was suddenly tackled from behind.

Sebastian and Ciel walked in their typical silence to the second bomb site. However, there was a slight tension in the air that was not typically present as they made their way through the lamp lit streets. However, as the young earl was not exactly eager to brooch the subject causing the tension, it remained. Well, at least until a certain red head showed up.

“SEBAS-CHAN!! <3” Grell Sutcliff squealed, rushing towards the demon. Sebastian sidestepped easily, causing the shinigami’s intended glomp to miss and the red head fell on his face. He rose to sit, sniffling pathetically. “Oh, how cruel! Why are you so cold to me, Sebas-chan?”

“Grell Sutcliff; what are you doing here?” Ciel demanded haughtily. Sebastian remained impassive, watching as Grell pulled himself together to rise.

“My job, of course,” he said. “There’s several someones on the list for tonight, and William didn’t have anyone else to spare besides me and Ronald.”

“On the… Sebastian, the bomb site,” Ciel said. Sebastian nodded and the two turned and ran as fast as Ciel could to the bomb site, though there was something bothering the demon. Two shinigami, two bombs…

“Hey! Don’t leave me, my Sebas-chan!! <3” Grell called, waving his “scythe” in the air and running after them. Sebastian sighed under his breath. This would be a long night…

“Geez, Ron, what’s wrong with you?” Bard asked, through he grinned as he tried to pull out of his brother’s grip. Ronal laughed, giving Bard an affectionate nuggie.

“”What? I can’t say hey to my little brother I hardly get to see?’ he asked. Bard finally managed to pull away, throwing a mock punch that Ron didn’t bother to block.

“Yeah, sure, say hey; don’t have to ambush me,” Bard said.

“A happy reunion?” Lau asked, and the brothers turned. Bard scratched the back of his neck and grinned.

“Yeah; this is my older brother, Ron,” he said. Then realization hit him. “So you’re on duty, then?”

“Well, yeah,” Ron said, scratching the back of his own neck. “There’s a couple people on the list nearby and – hey!”

Bard took off towards the bomb site. It had to be there, and list or not, he was going to help as well as he could…

The ground shook as the bombs went off. Sebastian picked up Ciel and jumped back to avoid the blast from where they were. Five vagrants died in the explosion.

Lau reached the location of his bomb site after it had gone off, Ron beside him. Bard was nowhere to be seen, and the place was filled with smoke. Ron pulled out his death book and began desperately leafing through, looking panicked. Lau looked around, trying to see through the cough inducing smoke. After a few moments, Ron sighed in relief. Then both turned at coughing.

Bard stumbled out of the smoke, collapsing nearby. Lau and Ron rushed to him, both looking worried. In Bard’s arms was a child, completely unharmed, though crying. Bard himself was soot covered, battered and bruised, and it looked like he’d been hit by objects caught in the blast, but thankfully not burned. However, it was obvious he wasn’t going to get up anytime soon, and his injuries would turn fatal if not tended to.

“Oh man oh man oh man…” Ron said, not sure what to do. Usually, he just kind of let things happen; being a shinigami, it was his job to handel the souls of the dead, not tend to the living. But this was his brother! What the hell was he supposed to do…

“Oh, it’s the Earl,” Lau said, making Ron turn to see Sebastian land lightly on the street, Ciel in his arms. The butler set his master down, and Ciel walked over to Lau.

“What happened here? Who the hell are you?” he asked, standing nearby as he took in the situation.

“I’m, uh, Ron, Ronald Knox, shinigami,” he said. Sebastian had taken in the situation as well, but had not moved from where he stood. He seemed paralyzed; it was clear that behind his eyes the wheels of his mind were turning, but to no end. A machine without a function, so to speak.

“The cook ran ahead; we found him like this,” Lau said. He now had the shivering child in his arms. Ciel sighed in frustration. It seemed like they had gotten no information tonight, not with his stupid cook running into explosions, or Lau being, well, Lau. They would have to return to examine the scene tomorrow, when the smoke had cleared.

“Sebastian, get Bard, we’re returning home,” Ciel said, walking past the demon. He realized after a few moments that he had continued walking alone. He turned and glared. “Sebastian!”

“Yes, my lord,” Sebastian said, turning to bow to Ciel. Then he walked over to the cook, causing Ron to move aside as he easily lifted him. The demon paused a moment, looking the cook over briefly, the wheels turning on the stoic face once again.

He turned on his heel, following Ciel at an even pace, Lau not far behind. Ron watched after a minute, the scratched his head before turning to do his job.

“I think I need to talk to gramps,” he said, then disappeared into the smoke.

It was approaching the next evening when Sebastian entered the room. He had been investigating with Ciel the entire day, and they had finally found a good, reliable lead. They were going to pursue it at the conclusion of an early dinner, which the young master was currently enjoying. It the free time he had, Sebastian had slipped away to the room where Bard lay up in bed; asleep and recovering.

The butler glided to a chair against the wall, next to the bed. Bard hadn’t stirred much throughout the day, but a doctor had said he would be right as rain in a few days, given plenty of rest. The doctor had actually seemed surprised at the rate Bard was recovering, and Sebastian and Ciel had assumed it had something to do with the man’s shinigami heritage. That, or how many times he’d blown himself up in the past. Either seemed a valid argument.

Sebastian sat for a long time, the wheels in his mind turning as he considered the situation. He had not yet come to a completely clear conclusion as to how he should be feeling at the moment. There were simple answers; as a demon, of course it didn’t matter either way to him whether or not a simple lover loved or died, and yet… there was an unseen force in the works, one which made him reconsider. His position was unclear, and thus he needed to think.

Unbeknownst the demon, a particular red head had found his way back to the Phantomhive townhouse. Grell Sutcliff had decided that, after such a long absence, he clearly needed to see his Sebas-chan again, and no doubt the demon had missed him terribly. And so the… ineffable shinigami had begun to scale the side of the building in order to surprise his alleged lover by, perhaps, meeting him in bed (<3) or creating a romantic scene.

Also off the demon’s radar was Mayren, who had happened to use the wrong kind of soap on the china, and thus had stayed up to rewash it. Now she pushed the carte of china down the hall, heading back to its case with no harm done.

And so, having his usually sharp sense compromised by his clouded thoughts, the butler did not stay himself as he rose. And when he brushed back some errand strands of Bard’s hair, Grell’s black gloved hands reached the ledge of the window into the room, and Mayren paused as she noticed the door to Bard’s room ajar, putting a finger to her chin as she peeked inside.

And when Sebastian leaned down and kissed Bard, he had two shocked bespecled watchers.

Grell immediately lost his grip in despair, falling some several feet to the ground, where he remained before jumping to his feet, full of jealous rage… which could have ended badly, were it not for the timely arrival of William T. Spears, whom collected the wayward red head without much ado.

Mayren, on the other hand, covered her mouth as she jumped back from the door, then peeked back to make sure of what she saw. As she watched, Sebastian held the kiss a few more moments before straightening. Mayren felt herself blush at the look at his face, finding herself thinking “that’s a look of love, yes it is” even as her own feelings for the butler were crushed. As Sebastian sat on the edge of the bed, Mayren stepped back again, then sighed. Then she grinned and psyched herself up a bit before returning to her china carte, deciding simply to let the matter be; besides, she couldn’t blame Bard if Sebastian liked him, it wasn’t like she’d ever said she liked the butler. Mayren paused in the hallway. It still hurt, yes, but the way Sebastian looked at Bard, there was no way she could contend with that. And then the maid sighed again and continued on her way.

Sebastian, for his part, sat with Bard a few long moments more. Then he rose, eyes glowing as he strode out of the room.

“Sebastian.”

“Yes, young master?”

“You are not to do anything until I have given you permission. Is that understood?”

“Of course, my young lord.”

Ciel gave the demon an appraising look from the corner of his eye. Sebastian knew, but said nothing. His eyes were still glowing as they made their way to bombers’ base. That was what concerned the Earl more than anything at the current moment. Finally, Ciel huffed a sigh, looking forward.

He and Sebastian paused. They had reached the home of one Mr. Darius Witherson, a rising merchant who had made his fortune in drugs and contraband. The bombs had been taking out his competition by destroying their places of business. The Earl had decided to first use a soft approach, attempting to have the man arrested before using extreme measures.

What Ciel was not counting on was Mr. Witherson having heard about his investigation, or that he had rigged his home to explode. However, Mr. Witherson had not been counting on a fast acting demon that could smell gunpowder more than a mile away.

Ciel coughed, smoke thick in the air. Sebastian had jumped on top of a building to escape the blast. The demon set the Earl down, and Ciel scowled.

It was then a man charged from the shadows of the building, a knife in his hand. He ran at the Earl, yelling at the top of his lungs. Ciel didn’t even blink as Sebastian sent the man flying with a kick to the gut. The Earl strode across the roof, then turned the man gasping for breath over with his boot.

“Mr. Witherson, I presume?” he asked. The man, in his late twenties, glared up at Ciel. He spat.

“You fucking brat…!” Witherson said. “Everything was… perfect!”

Ciel sneered, then whirled away.

“Do what you want.”

“Yes, my young lord.”

Sebastian smiled, taking off his long coat as he approached Mr. Witherson. The man looked at the demon, and his face paled as he saw hell in those glowing red eyes.

Ciel shivered. He could hear the screams of Mr. Witherson the entirety of hid trip down through the building, and, now that he was standing on the street, he could still hear the faint echo of them from above.

Just what the hell is he doing? the Earl thought, looking up at the roof. Was he really that angry?

On the roof, Sebastian was still smiling as he picked up Mr. Witherson. He had broken each and every bone in the man’s body, then proceeded to use the man’s own knife as he deemed necessary. It was a wonder the man was still alive as the butler walked over and held him over the side of the building opposite of where Ciel was standing.

“P… please…” Witherson said, tears streaming down his face in pain. The demon broke into a grin.

“Good bye, Mr. Witherson,” he said, and dropped the man over the side.

Ciel jumped as Sebastian landed next to him. The butler smiled.

“Shall we retire, young master?” he asked. Ciel huffed.

“You took too long,” he said, turning on his heel in the direction of the town house. Sebastian bowed before following after.

“My apologies, my young lord,” he said. Ciel gave him a glare, which softened into a rather strange expression that the butler couldn’t quite place. However, he didn’t ask, nor did the Earl tell, thus they returned to the town house in silence.

“Sebastian, you are remaining at the townhouse.”

“I’m sorry, my lord?”

Ciel and Sebastian stood in front of the townhouse. Finnian and Mayren were almost finished loading the carriage to return to the Phantomhive estate, as Bardroy was still recovering. Ciel huffed a sigh.

“I said, you are remaining at the townhouse. I overheard Soma suggesting using some ancient Indian healing remedies on Bard, and I don’t want him burning down the house in his idiocity.”

Sebastian blinked. He knew this couldn’t be the real reason for the Earl having him stay behind. Agni would stop Soma from burning down the townhouse, and it would be the Indian butler that would do the supposed Indian remedies in the first place. So if it wasn’t that, then….

The butler smiled, making Ciel ‘tch’ and look away as Sebastian bowed.

“I understand, my young lord.”

“Of course, I said it simply enough,” CIel said, before striding off to the carriage. Sebastian watched, amused, waving as they pulled off. Then he turned, walking back into the town house just as Soma and Agni blundered past, out the door.

“Oh, my friend, the prince and I have some business to attend to, and will be gone most of the day,” Agni said. Sebastian blinked in surprise, then snorted. Well, he thought, this explains the conversation in the hallway.

“I understand. Good luck with your business,” the butler said, bowing with a smile. Agni and Soma thanked him before leaving through the gate. Sebastian closed the door quietly. Then he looked up the stairs.

Bard sat up in bed, leaning back against a pile of pillows as he looked out the window. He had a book in his lap, opened somewhere past the middle. After learning how, the cook had gained an avid interest in reading; poetry, mostly. It was something of a counter tone to the rest of his life, something soft and soothing, so far away from the harsh realities of the life he had known.

Except lately even poetry offered no escape, not when the poets lamented over situations so similar to Bard’s. A headache coming on, he had abandoned the book, electing to stare at the world outside. He was trying not to think, and, with the house so quiet, this was surprisingly easy. It was far more simple to forget about someone whom was not there than if the man were present. Though, the feeling never truly went away, merely lessened… bit with less fervor…

“Leave me, O love which reachest but to dust,”

Bard flinched, head whipping around to see Sebastian, a thoughtful hand cupping his chin as he read from the poetry book taken from Bard’s lap.

“And thou, my mind, aspire to higher things;
Grow rich in that which never taketh rust:”

The butler moved smoothly to sit on the edge of the bed, twisting his torso such that Bard viewed his profile. Sebastian’s look was contemplating, but growing amused.

“Whatever fades but fading pleasure brings.
Draw in thy beams, and humble all thy might
To that sweet yoke where lasting freedoms be,
Which breaks the clouds and opens forth the light

That doth both shine and give us sight to see.”

Setting the book down, Sebastian turned further to face Bard, whom had taken to staring at him, mouth slightly agape in surprise. Continuing the poem without the aid of the book, the demon continuing the poem without the aid of the book, the demon slowly moved to straddle the cook, never breaking eye contact.

“O, take fast hold; let that light be thy guide
In this small course which birth draws out to death,
And think how evil becometh him to slide-“

At this Sebastian smirked, the irony not lost upon him as he leaned closer, face only inches from the other man’s as he continued his recital.

“Who seeketh heaven, and comes of heavenly breath.
Then farewell, world! thy uttermost I see:”

The demon paused slightly, the amusment leaving his face as he reached the final line.

“Eternal Love, maintain thy life in me.”

There was silence as Bard and Sebastian simply looked at one another, each trying to decipher what was behind the other’s eyes. There seemed to be an unspoken apology in the air, but it was difficult to tell who was apologizing, and what for, precisely.

“Didn’t know you were a fan of poetry,” Bard said at last. Sebastian snorted.

“I suppose when Sidney isn’t falling over himself and his pathetic thoughts of unrequited love, he could be considered a passable poet,” the butler said.

“Well, I don’t think he’s really-“ the rest of Bard’s sentence was cut off as Sebastian leaned the rest of the way forward to kiss him. The cook tensed, taking a moment to consider whether he would give in or push away. After what Sebastian had said to him before, any sane person would have already pushed the demon off and be done with him.

But that’s the problem, isn’t it? the cook thought, his hands moving to the butler’s waist as his eyes slid closed. He’s a demon, and I knew that when I got into this. I knew he didn’t care, and I went along with everything like it was just some kind of thing that people do.

Sebastian pulled back a bit, moving to nip and suck his way down Bard’s jawline, allowing the man to remove his tail coat as he did so. The demon tossed the vestment to the floor, trialing butterfly kisses down Bardroy’s neck to reach the hallow between his neck and shoulder. Here the butler began biting and sucking in earnest, drawing a little groan from the cook. One of Sebastian’s hands cupped the side of Bard’s face opposite from where he was working on the cook’s neck, the other grasped the man’s side just above the waist.

I should at least be asking for an apology or something… but… it really wouldn’t matter, would it? Bard thought, struggling to hold on just a little longer, using his grip on the butler’s waist to keep some distance between them. He wouldn’t mean it, they would just be empty words, if he even decided to humor me. Fuck, in this situation, I’m just… hopeless.

The cook struggled a bit, managing to slide his hands up and push Sebastian back. The butler stared at him with apathetic, glowing red eyes. Bard just stared back, breath a little hitched.

Completely, utterly hopeless.

And with that thought he sat up fully, crushing his lips against the demon’s. One hand cupped the nape of Sebastian’s neck, the other around his waist, pulling him flush against the cook. Sebastian chuckled into the kiss, pulling his gloves off behind the cook’s back before letting his hands roam, first simply stroking Bard’s sides as he gently rocked into him. The two kept their eyes open, fixed on each other as their entwined bodies grew warmer. The demon’s hands then reached the hem of Bard’s shirt, and the couple parted briefly as he pulled it over the cook’s head.

Sebastian seemed to decide to be merciless, gently leaning Bard back into the pillows as he attacked the man’s neck with his mouth. He worshiped the cook’s body with his hands, drawing soft whimpers and moans from the man like blood to a shallow wound. Bard squirmed and attempted some form of retaliation, but he was completely unaccustomed to this… this soft, slow, gentle approach. Usually it was all fire and demanding, this… this was more making love than it was sex.

As if the poor cook weren’t confused enough as it was.

Sebastian’s sinful lips and tongue began making their way down the body beneath them, stopping briefly to nip and suck at one pert nipple before continuing the action down, down under the ribs, down across the stomach, pulling the disheveled blankets down off the cook’s lap…

Bardroy groaned, head lolling back as Sebastian began mouthing him through his pants. The demon was extremely thorough, soon making the material damp with a mixture of saliva and precum as the cook struggled to keep his taxed mind from simply falling apart at the seams.

This was, naturally, in vain.

Especially when Sebastian took that moment to de-trouse the cook, enveloping Bard’s erect member in one fell swoop.

The man arched up as best he could from his position, one hand carding into soft raven hair while the other buried itself in the sheets. Sebastian hummed, smirking around the cook’s entirety as he bobbed his head, applying his tongue to the thick vein on the underside of the cook’s member. Bard whined and writhed, struggling for more as Sebastian held his waist down firmly with one hand. After a few more minutes of such clandestine torture, the butler released him with a parting lick up the cook’s shaft. Then he sat up.

“Humans are such fragile creatures,” Sebastian said, casually unbuttoning his waistcoat as Bard forced his mind to work again.

“Oh yeah?” the cook asked, panting. His hands were already reaching for his groin, though Bard was only partially conscious of the action. Sebastian tossed away his waist coat and smirked, deftly pulling loose his tie.

“Indeed,” he said, shooting forward to pull Bard’s hands behind his back, mouth almost against the man’s ear as he tied the cook’s wrists with the tie. “Just one explosion, and you’re incapacitated for days, if not longer. Pathetic, really.”

“Well, if that’s how you-ah!” Bard was cut off as one of the butler’s smooth hands began pumping his erection. Sebastian placed an open-mouthed kiss to the cook’s neck, holding him in place with his free hand as the man attempted buck, or move in some way to at least increase the friction just enough…

And then the butler pulled back again, a smirk still playing at his lips as Bard gave a groan of disappointment.

“I never it said it was a bad thing, really,” Sebastian said, unbuttoning his shirt. Bard blinked, trying to focus once more.

“What?”

“The fragility of humans. I never said it was a bad thing, per se. More of an… inconvenience, if you will.”

“Right… is there… some point to this…?”

Sebastian chuckled, shedding his pristine white shirt to reveal the pale skin beneath.

“Of course. There is a point to everything.”

“Oh… well… are ya gonna… get to this point soon or…” Bard shifted uncomfortably, trying vainly to alleviate his raging hard on in some way. Sebastian tsked, sitting up to undo is pants.

“So impatient,” he said, continuing to take his time undressing. Bard laughed a little strained.

“Well… ya didn’t really leave me a whole lotta options here…” he said, managing to catch the butler’s red eyed gaze. The butler smiled wider.

“It will be well worth the wait, I assure you,” he said, and Bard swallowed. He decided to hold his tongue as the demon finished undressing, then swallowed again as Sebastian straddled him once more. The butler snorted, carding a hand into the cook’s blonde hair, the other hand grasping the man’s shoulder. Bard’s eyes widened in shock as he suddenly realized what was about to happen.

The demon stole his lips as soon as the man opened his mouth to speak, and slowly began lowering himself onto the cook’s stiff length. Bard moaned, straining against his bonds, still not quite believing what was going on. Sebastian groaned, half in pleasure, half in pain. If he were human, it would be far more pain than pleasure, however, for a demon, any sensation potent enough to pull a true reaction from him turned sweet in time, especially when mixed with pleasure.

The demon pulled away from the kiss, watching the cook with glowing eyes as he slowly rose up on his knees, then back down once more. Bard panted, head subconsciously leaning into Sebastian’s hand as he blearily half opened his eyes. The butler smirked, and immediately picked up the pace, nails biting into the cook’s shoulder as the demon arched back. Bard moaned, shoulders hunching as his body trembled. He tried to buck up, or join in some way, but Sebastian was too fast and too forceful to be matched. And, where the cook had tightly closed his eyes, the butler’s remained half-lidded, watching as he twisted his body back a bit more, trying to find the right angle for…

There! Sebastian let his head roll back on his shoulders, eyes closing as he rammed Bard’s cock against his prostate, subtly increasing his speed. The cook was moaning and grunting between his heavy panting, whilst Sebastian seemed to almost growl in the back of his throat.

“Sebastian…” Bard said, and the butler came as near to whimpering as the man had ever heard, “I can’t… ah… much longer…”

Sensing the cook’s meaning, Sebastian dug his nails into the muscle at Bard’s shoulder, drawing blood as he picked up the pace just enough to drive the man over the edge.

They were still a moment, panting. Bard fell back against the pillows, riding the aftershocks of his orgasm still inside the demon. Sebastian hadn’t moved, only allowing his muscles to relax how he was. As the cook settled, the butler let his head fall forward, then removed himself from Bard’s softening member. The cook’s eyes opened a fraction, and Sebastian stared back at him. Then the demon moved forward, sliding his tongue into Bardroy’s mouth as his grip on the cook’s shoulder slackened. Bard kissed back, and it was all wet tongues and soft, pleasured noises. Sebastian shifted, and the cook flinched and grunted as he suddenly felt a finger pressed into his entrance. The demon used the hand still carded into the man’s hair to keep the cook in place, causing Bard to shiver as Sebastian continued to stretch him.

It was actually not very painfully at all; his earlier orgasm having relaxed all his muscles rather forcibly. Though, as the demon added a second digit, the cook could feel his muscles tightening again, the sensation of being stretched beginning to sting a lot more before Sebastian suddenly curled his fingers, rubbing against the man’s prostate. Bard spasmed, moaning as his raw member came to life again so soon, wiggling against the bed and his bonds as the demon continued, adding yet a third finger. The cook whimpered into the sloppy kiss, almost writhing now as Sebastian’s other hand reached down to pump his stiffening cock. Without the butler’s hand to hold him, Bard broke the kiss, saliva trailing from his mouth as he panted and groaned. The butler watched, then snorted, deciding he was ready.

Removing his fingers, the demon took a few minutes to spread the precum from his as yet unattended erection, moving it thickly over the entire head and shaft. Once this was done, Sebastian pulled Bard slightly forward by the hips, then slowly pressed into his entrance.

The cook whimpered, trying to stay relaxed as the demon fully sheathed himself. Sebastian let the man adjust, nipping and sucking at the curve of his jaw, a hand carding into his blonde hair on the opposite side, thumb stroking at the man’s temple. The demon’s other hand twisted under Bard’s tied arms to wrap around the cook’s waist.

Then he started moving.

Bard’s legs wrapped up instinctively, tangling around Sebastian’s legs as the demon rocked into him, starting off slow. The butler’s nips and sucks moved down Bard’s neck, making the man moan in the back of his throat, breath shallow as the demon gradually picked up the pace. He moved to shallow thrusts, then real thrusts as his bit into the hallow between the cook’s neck and shoulder. Bard groaned, attempting to writhe with no way to go.

The cook’s head shot back , arching as Sebastian nailed his prostate. The demon hummed as he sucked against the wound he’d made, shifting to ram that particular spot every time he thrust. Bard whimpered, grunted, moaned and groaned, a melody of sounds as he tried to move anywhere, stopped by the tie around his wrists and the arm around his waist. Sebastian shifted the hand at the side of the man’s head under the cook’s arms on the other side, grabbing his shoulder from behind and restraining his movement even further. Bard’s chest heaved, and he pounded his head back, the only motion he could manage as his sweet spot was attacked repeatedly.

“Sebastian!” the cook whined, suddenly tensing completely as he came over both their stomachs. The demon’s jaw clenched as he thrust a few more times, then followed the cook over the edge, spilling his seed into the man.

The pair collapsed, panting, Bard heavily and Sebastian lightly. After a few moments, the butler pulled out, then shifted to kiss the cook, eyes half lidded. Bard was too tired to even open his eyes, none the less reciprocate.

“So very, very fragile…” Sebastian said, and it was all Bard remembered as he slipped into oblivion.

Photo

Tue, 20 Mar 2012 22:37:07 -0400

feline-sexual: corrahlovesyou: draconigena: faeriearmy: andre...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 21:51:06 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

feline-sexual:

corrahlovesyou:

draconigena:

faeriearmy:

andrewkletzien:

Why homosexuality should be BANNED.

oh my god i thought i was going to have to be really really mad at the people in the notes

but

just watch it i love this guy

perfect

This has probably been on my blog more than anything else.

Omg I love you.

janestakes: ryu-gemini: Ohmyfuck I think I know how Karkat...

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 23:18:30 -0400

janestakes:

ryu-gemini:

Ohmyfuck

I think I know how Karkat knows what a human dick looks like.

If Harry Potter was an anime.

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 22:11:50 -0400

gir-chan:

sassy-lesbian-flutterbitch:

ask-kagene-rui:

im-otaku-problem:

kurama-chan:

dos4:

I CANT HELP BUT REBLOG!!! FRED AND GEORGE reminds me of HIKARU AND KAORU!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!

Help me! I cant tell who’s who…

I’ve seen this before o: hot damn

This is the most epic thing in history.

munkustrap: meorkisyourpants: New Korra trailer from Nick’s...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 22:01:43 -0400

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

munkustrap:

meorkisyourpants:

New Korra trailer from Nick’s Upfront.

A;JFEKLRJKELAJKCLE it’s so beautiful

Hey Theodore Roosevelt, remember that time someone tried to assassinate you, but you just laughed and proceeded to give a 90-minute long speech with the bullet lodged in your lung, where it remained for the rest of your life? Or when you tore up your leg after being thrown into piranha-infested waters while exploring uncharted Brazil? Or all those times you broke your ribs from falling off horses while doing bad-ass jumps? Or when you destroyed the sight in your left eye in a White House boxing match? Or that time you killed a cougar in a knife fight (seriously.)? And how the only way death could finally get to you was in your sleep, in the early morning on this day in 1919. Here's to TR as the infinite inspiration for pure, condensed badassery. ;)

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 21:58:28 -0400

themakingsofgreatness:

turnabout-taisa:

tundrakatiebean:

maulpccartney:

bookwurm32191:

mollay:

Theodore Roosevelt, October 27, 1858 – January 6, 1919

“Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight.”

Original Badass.

All of our presidents combined can’t add up to how much of a badass he was.

Oh my god, yes! I love this guy.

jerrymojo2: tforge13: watchmeasihomestuck: Homestuck ships...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 20:47:36 -0400

jerrymojo2:

tforge13:

watchmeasihomestuck:

Homestuck ships according to my friend.

sooooo

Are any of these ever actual ships?
Aside from VrisTav. But obviously, this “Friend” is a non-homstuck, and would never even think of a kismesitude.

*cries at vristav*

i… actually had a fic where i was writing jade/equius… lol

writey writey writey!

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 20:22:20 -0400

jumpingjacktrash:

the next update of GVGH might not happen tonight; i’m getting into some tricky spy stuff now and you can’t hurry when you’re setting up dominoes. i’d hate to rush it and end up posting something that left everyone headtilting.

writing tip: when writing a character who’s smarter than you are, don’t give them miraculous extra knowlege or let them cheat logic. just take a good long time planning out their actions, run the plans past a beta, and then let the smart character work it out in a fraction of the time it took you.

and this would be why i am miraculously wittier in prose…

Boob Tape: Like a Huss

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 16:55:24 -0400

Boob Tape: Like a Huss:

dersedreamer:

sonira:

Mr. Hussie, thanks for coming to your webcomic review.
No problem.
So, you’re the creator of Homestuck, is that right?
Absolutely. I’m the Huss.
Okay, so take us through your usual updates in Homestuck.
Well, the first thing I do is…

This is literally perfect in every way possible.

janestakes: karlavega: brokeenpromises: shayhunnyy: deesguuy:...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 22:44:12 -0400

janestakes:

karlavega:

brokeenpromises:

shayhunnyy:

deesguuy:

juhjared:

is the tv okay? :o

is the floor ok? D:

Is the windows ok?

is the shoe okay? ;o

I hope the floor is okay..

You guys are so mean.

It’s the cart that needs attention, you fuckwits.

what about the tv cord?

everyone forgets the cord…

askdragonwarlord: How dare you think that I missed you! ((is...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 22:01:14 -0400

askdragonwarlord:

How dare you think that I missed you!

((is it sad that my first thought was tsundare chase young? “it’s not like i missed you or anything! B-baka!”))

((and yes, i know i don’t need double parens since i’m not ic but idc))

vaydra: birdiyo: eridoof i regret nothing Looks like Hussie...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 21:43:48 -0400

vaydra:

birdiyo:

eridoof

i regret nothing

Looks like Hussie wanted to play tumblrmon too

funny thing is

on my pokemon platinum

i have a psyduck named sollux

…

huh

janestakes: motherfuckingfineasspussymobile: nehzoomey: how do 90% of people on tumblr even go...

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 16:34:00 -0400

janestakes:

motherfuckingfineasspussymobile:

nehzoomey:

how do 90% of people on tumblr even go outside without being offended by a blade of grass or something

some of us don’t have grass on our lawns you sack of shit

Some of us don’t have lawns, you assmuncher.

Some of us don’t have insults, you.

How about Mouthy Monday? You put one sentence in my ask where you mouth off to me, and if I can't think of a comeback, you win.

Mon, 12 Mar 2012 12:41:24 -0400

How about Mouthy Monday? You put one sentence in my ask where you mouth off to me, and if I can't think of a comeback, you win.:

so guess i’ll try this again, and answer them when i can (if i get any)

but i mean PEOPLE

I AM ASKING YOU

TO INSULT ME

WITH NO CONSEQUENCES

WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT?

in other words, i want you to use your rapier wits to come up with the best insults you can think of, beginning a rousing duel of intellect where i attempt to parry with scathing comebacks. please do this. i need to practice my mind fencing.

annanocturnal: GOD TIER COSPLAY GIVEAWAY: ROUND TWO! So after...

Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:46:24 -0500

annanocturnal:

GOD TIER COSPLAY GIVEAWAY: ROUND TWO!

So after my last giveaway, I’ve learned a few things to make this one go smoother. That means some things have changed, so please read all the way through!

The prize:

One winner will receive a god tier cosplay in the heir design as shown in starboardabbey’s god tier reference sheet. The heir design is the ONLY ONE I will be doing in this giveaway. Next time I will go on to the seer, and so on and so forth.

PLEASE NOTE: I do work two jobs, I’m making this from scratch, and I have to pay for the materials myself, so it may take awhile for you to get your cosplay. I promise to try to keep you up-to-date on the progress, including letting you know when your cosplay ships and the expected arrival date.

The Rules:

Reblog ONLY ONCE PER DAY. Last time I got a lot of complaints about dash floods, the contest not being fair, and so on and so forth. I understand those feelings, and so I’m limiting the reblogs this time.

Likes count!

Following me is NOT required, but greatly appreciated.

The contest will close at midnight on March 31, April 1, however you want to think of it. When the day changes, it’s over! I’m not using a predetermined number this time, due to complaints and the fact that I’m only giving away one, so it will not close early or late this time.

I will be using a random number generator to pick the winner.

Please have your ask box open so I can contact you! If I don’t hear from you within forty-eight hours, I will pick another winner!

You will have to be willing to give me your address.

INTERNATIONAL ENTRIES ALLOWED.

Good luck to all! Any questions may be directed to my ask box!

When you realise any of us could have walked past each other at any moment in our lives and not have known.

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 06:49:12 -0500

thatfunnyblog:

Wanna LAUGH OUT LOUD?! Follow this blog.

unclekasu: holmes-comma-sherlock: sherwatson: holmes-comma-she...

Thu, 08 Mar 2012 06:45:22 -0500

unclekasu:

holmes-comma-sherlock:

sherwatson:

holmes-comma-sherlock:

aspenater:

sherlocksscarf:

baftasoldier:

derniersoleil:

nemir0n:

I love you. -JW

Goodbye, Sherlock. -JW

He jumped.

NO

NOT OKAY

WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

SOBBING I AM SOBBING

FUCK WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT WHY

NOOO WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. BRILLIANT, BUT MY FEELS….

what if sherlock killed himself after he heard

and the dug up whatever body they had buried there and put sherlock there instead

and when he died he had that note in his hands

and out of respect

the people who buried him the “second” time

left it next to john’s grave

because like

they knew sherlock would want it there

and then mary(who john did meet and marry)

visits both their graves every day

mainly talks to john, but “has been introduced” to sherlock

so sometimes she talks to him too

just to check in

see how it’s going…

“Are you happy now, John? With him? I hope so. If I’m honest, I’d say I’m pretty happy too. Not that you’re dead, though. But because you’re with him again.”

and like

lestrade visits once a month(the day Sherlock nearly killed himself from overdosing)

and mycroft with him

and mummy once a year

and harry visits only when she’s sober and when she can

and likes to tell john about how she’s been getting better at not drinking

and donovon and anderson

they visit a couple times

and their first visit, donovon actually cried

and said “i’m sorry for always calling you freak, sherlock.”

but other than that never actually say anything

and irene visits on occasion

she usually just talks about how life is, how she’s not been into a dangerous situation for months and how she kind of actually likes it

and mrs hudson visits whenever she can

which is often

and always talks about the new couple living in 221b

“they’re so like you two…well, perhaps not, but in a lot of ways, they remind me of you two. i like to tell them about you two.”

and then the kids of later years

after sherlock holmes is a very well-known story(I would say urban legend but it’s true in the sherlockverse)

they say

“sometimes you can hear violin music around their graves, if you listen hard enough. and sometimes you can hear tea being made, and this one is truly rare, but sometimes you can hear them talking to each other.”

Don’t mind me. Just letting my heart break again. The usual. On another note, the head canon…. It’s beautiful.

Allow me to elaborate on the headcanon.

—-

When Sherlock heard the news that John had committed suicide, he’d done two things. First, he wrote a note. Then, he shot himself in the mouth.

He had died in seconds. Mycroft had found him a few minutes later in the front yard of his estate.

-

The real funeral was small, intimate. Not many people attended. Mycroft, Molly, and Lestrade were the three that knew they had to come. Anderson and Donovon showed up, surprisingly. Harry made a short and half-sober appearance, although she’d never met Sherlock. “He made John happy,” she said. Mrs. Hudson was there, also. Mary showed up near the end and gave a much similar reason to Harry. “He was happiest when he told stories with him in them. It was one of the few times I got to see him smile.”

Nobody said anything throughout the thing. Afterwards, Mycroft left the note that Sherlock had left for John next to his grave, patted Sherlock’s, and said, “Well, at least your together now, right?” and left quietly. He didn’t speak for weeks afterwards.

-

When Mary visits, she’s usually smiling. She sits against John’s grave and talks about life. She asks how he’s doing, and occasionally tells Sherlock about a truly bizarre case when she hears about them. She says she’s met somebody, and he’s nice, and oh you should hear him play piano—not nearly as good as you, John, but it’s still good. Her visits are short but frequent.

John and Sherlock enjoy her company.

-

When Lestrade visits, he doesn’t talk much, and mainly to Sherlock. He tells him how he misses him, and sometimes about a case, and sometimes about how others are doing, but during his visits, it’s usually a quiet thing. He doesn’t have much to say, others suppose. When he leaves, he pats both their graves with a sad smile and doesn’t come back for month.

John and Sherlock think he should visit more often and stop coming on such a depressing day.

-

Mycroft sometimes visits with Lestrade. Neither talk then. But when he doesn’t, Mycroft usually says a few choice words. They’re always simple ones with a lot of meaning, though. Mycroft tells Sherlock he regrets that they never made up, and that he misses him—“I know we didn’t like each other much, Sherlock, but you being absent from my life has…made living more diffucult.”—and that he hopes he knows that he loved him—“And I hope you knew I love you. You are my brother.” His visits are infrequent but intimate, and don’t seem to be on any sort of schedule.

John and Sherlock are usually very quiet when he visits, and neither enjoy nor dislike his company.

-

Sherlock’s Mummy visits on New Year’s day. She only comes by for a minute before leaving.

John and Sherlock both choose not to mention it, ever.

-

Harry visits when she can and only when she’s completely and totally sober. She talks about how her and Clara have made up and are good friends, how she’s been getting better at drinking, and how his and Harry’s family were taking it. She talks about life in general and updates on some key things. She stays for a little while before telling John she loves him, and leaving.

John, although he’s not too fond of his sister, likes her visits. Sherlock is indifferent.

-

When Donovon and Anderson visit, it’s together, and they stay for mere moments before leaving. Donovon apologized for calling Sherlock freak and Anderson thanked John for making him less of an asshole. Their visits are a little awkward, but they aren’t very much in number.

John and Sherlock don’t like or dislike the company.

-

Mrs Hudson visits when she can. She talks about the new couple in 221B, how they remind her of them. She talks about life. She talks about how, even though it was annoying at the time, she misses the gunshots and spray cans and loud violin music torture in the middle of the night. She misses them. Her visits are happy and more than three times a month, but soon they grow less and less, before she tells them, “I don’t think I’ll be visiting you boys like this any longer.”

They meet her mere days later and happily catch up.

-

Irene visits twice a year. She talks about her new life. She talks about how less dangerous it’s been. She says “its blasphemy, but I love the quietness of it.” She’s met a girl. She’s happy. She still loves Sherlock. She misses her old life sometimes. She misses him sometimes. She doesn’t stay for long, but she stays long enough.

John and Sherlock think her visits are nice.

-

Years after the people that usually visit their graves have long since died and John and Sherlock have met up with them in wherever you go after death, some people will visit simply to say, “That’s Sherlock Holmes’s grave, and that’s his partner’s.”

The kids visit sometimes. They talk about the stories, they talk about if they believe in Sherlock or if they think Brooke is innocent. They sometimes will hear tea being made, and sometimes they will hear violin music, and sometimes they will hear John and Sherlock talking to each other. They will always hear bees buzzing when they come by, because Sherlock wanted to someday raise bees and John had been perfectly content going along.

“Do you hear bees buzzing?”

“Yeah. But..it’s winter.”

“Weird, huh? They’re always around here.”

“Weird. Do you think it’s because of…them?”

“I think so.”

“Me too.”

It was a stupid dare, and it was even stupider of her to take it. But no one, not even Nick, could call her a coward now, could he. “Spend the night on the psychopath’s grave!” he said. Well, okay, she was doing it, see? She’d make him eat those words, she would.

Rachel griped her torch tight to her chest, shivering in the cold dark of the cemetery. She’d snuck out of her apartment two hours ago while her mum and dad were asleep, and her nerves still hadn’t settled. She jumped at the wind, at some owls hooting, but she was still sitting stubbornly in front of the smooth black headstone etched with the name “Sherlock Holmes.”

Sherlock Holmes. Of course, she’d heard of him. Everyone, really, had heard of Sherlock Holmes, the false detective. His suicide had shocked no one, not after they had learned the truth about him. It was sick, is what it was. She looked at the grave next to his, “John Watson,” it said. Rachel didn’t really know who he was. Just that he was an… what was that word her mum had used? Ah yes, “accomplice.”

Rachel shuddered, pulling her knees up to her chest. Slowly, haunting questions began filling her head. Was this place really haunted by a killer’s ghost? Oh God, would he come up out of his grave and kill her too? Would they ever find her body? What would her mum and dad do? Her mind swirled with rising panic, but just as she was about to stand up and go sprinting back home…

The smell of… tea?

Rachel lifted her head from her knees, where she had covered it with her arms in fright. But there was no one. She turned her head to the right. The smell intensified. Rachel frowned. Slowly, she rose to her knees and crossed to sit on John Watson’s grave. The sweet, calming scent of tea enveloped her, and suddenly she felt warmth seeping into her chilled limbs. Despite herself, she began to relax. Her eyelids drooped.

Sherlock, sit down. Your tea is getting cold.

Can’t, John. The fingerprints are beginning to appear. Can’t common criminals even bother to wear gloves these days, it’s all too easy.

Rachel’s friends found her in the early hours of the morning the next day. She was leaning peacefully against John Watson’s tombstone, and Joan had thought for a heart-stopping moment that she was dead, but no. When asked what happened, Rachel only shook her head, confused, and said that she had fallen asleep to the rich sound of a violin playing.

(Aaand some more embellishments)

omggiveaway: We’ve found a new deal for you guys. Apple is...

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 19:49:27 -0500

omggiveaway:

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Assassin's Spice

Wed, 07 Mar 2012 18:46:37 -0500

insieme-per-la-vittoria:

datassdesmond:

ber-the-conqueror:

insieme-per-la-vittoria:

This is what I made during my afternoon/pre-evening.

~~lol i totally beat the Tumblr system. fuck the photoset limit.~~

FFFFFTAHAHAHAHAHA!

Reblog forever. It would be great to have one as the Old Spice Remix

HOW IS THIS STILL ALIVE?

HOW DO YOU PEOPLE STILL FIND THIS AMUSING?

I DON’T GET IT.